Your Black Heart
by Mooncheese
Summary: Sirius Black. Hated by some, adored by others. He's insubordinate, rude, legendary for never saying sorry, and with memories of a home life that still haunt him to this day. Stear clear of him, but even if you do, I can't guarantee he'll leave you alone.
1. Hungover

_Two young boys are playing noisily in the silence of an abandoned kitchen. Through the wall, deep, adult voices rumble, reminding the boys that they are not alone, although this does not deter them in their play. The older of the two, a six year old with a mischievous grin, stands suddenly, a wooden train in one hand, a plastic wand in the other. His brother looks up at him instantly, sensing that something is about to happen. _

"_I'm hungry, Reggie," announces the six year old, dark eyes travelling around the large, hollow room. His brother squirms uncertainly. _

"_Mother said lunchtime after her meeting, Siri." _

"_But I'm hungry now," replies Siri, as though this settles the matter. "What can we eat?"_

_Reggie bends his head, pushing around his train in a half hearted manner as though refusing to be a part of the conversation. He watches Siri out of the corner of his eye, and suddenly he gasps and jerks his head up. "Siri! Mother said NO BISCUITS!"_

_Siri hesitates for a moment, his arm frozen in the action of opening the food cupboard, Reggie's words ringing in his ears. "We can eat if we're hungry," he says softly. Reggie shakes his head so vigorously strands of dark hair whip his chubby cheeks. _

"_Mother said 'no'," he repeats, and even though he is four years old and the younger of the two, his voice becomes harder, stricter. _

_Siri hesitates a second longer. "But I say yes," he says suddenly, and pulls open the cupboard door. _

0o0

Beep, beep. Beep, beep.

The piercing, mechanical little beeps felt like tiny hammers, striking rhythmically at the inside of Sirius Black's skull. He groaned loudly, then stopped abruptly when he realised how much _that _hurt. Half paralysed by sleep, he rolled over, hauling the duvet with him, and fell out of bed with a crash that probably woke half the castle.

Beep, beep. Beep, beep.

For a moment he lay in shock, tangled in duvet and drapery, then decided to make the best of a bad job, and went back to sleep.

Beep, beep. Beep, beep.

At least, he _would _have gone back to sleep…if it wasn't for that _stupid alarm…_

"Prongs," he croaked into his pillow. He waited for a moment, wondering why James didn't spring instantly to his aid, then tried again. "PRONGS."

There was a groan of bedsprings, then finally, his best friend of five years was speaking to him. Hallelujah, praise the Lord. "What?" James creaked at him through the curtain.

Ah. He needed to speak a sentence here. Sirius lay in silence as he mustered up the energy. "Alarm clock. Kill. Now."

There was a pause, then a few scrabbling sounds as James apparently felt blindly around for something. Then there was a loud bang on the opposite wall.

The beeping continued.

"What you do?" croaked Sirius blearily.

"Threw my shoe."

"Missed?"

"Yeah."

"Tosser."

There was silence for a moment, in which Sirius's headache increased painfully with every shrieking 'beep.' He sighed. This was getting ridiculous.

"Throwyerovvarshoe."

"Huh?" grunted James.

"Other shoe. Throw."

There was a second bang. It seemed the second shoe was no luckier than the first. James moaned and let out an unintelligible mix of curses and swearwords and babble. It did nothing for the alarm clock, which continued to beep away merrily, unperturbed.

"Padfoot?"

"Uh?"

"I think you might have to get up."

Sirius frowned. "You gerrup."

"You're closer."

There was simply no arguing with this statement, but it still took another five minutes of persuading from the torturous alarm clock to actually force Sirius onto his hands and knees. Head pounding with every movement, he crawled across the floor with his eyes firmly closed, feeling his way to Remus's bedside table. When he eventually, found it, he knelt up, and opened his eyes slightly to squint for the 'Off' button.

Remus was sitting cross legged on his bed, fully dressed and reading a book. "Hello," he said mildly, without looking up.

Sirius stared at him with his mouth gaping. Exactly six inches from Remus's left hand sat the alarm clock, beeping in all its piercing glory.

Words failed him. Vehemently, he slammed his hand on top of the alarm clock, shot Remus one last poisonous glare, then sank to the floor to return to sleep.

0o0

"Padfoot…Padfoot…"

Sirius squirmed, vaguely aware that he was being coaxed into a sitting position and that his head was lolling on someone's chest. "Wazzgoinon?" he muttered hazily. Something was hovering in front of his face, pressing gently against his lower lip. Frowning and squinting slightly, he made out the fuzzy outline of a goblet.

"Wazzat?"

He heard Remus's voice sigh. "Hangover Potion. I don't think I really need to explain what it does."

Sirius brightened. "Ohhh…that's goooood shit."

"Yes Sirius. It is good shit. Now drink up."

Obligingly, Sirius opened his mouth and gulped down the potion, barely acknowledging the foul taste, and the fact that half of it was slopping down his front.

"Well, you're taking it better than James did," Remus said, though his voice seemed to be coming from a great distance. "_He_ thought I was poisoning him and hid under the bed."

Sirius giggled weakly. "Stupid…" He yawned widely, and felt his eyes flutter closed. "Hey...it was a good night last night, eh, Moon-Boy?"

Darkness claimed his world once more.

0o0o0

Well, what did you think?

Warning: Although I have a vague idea as to where this story is heading, I cannot guarantee regualar updates and whatnot. Reviews encourage and inspire me, a lack of them depress me. Depression does not do wonders for my writing skills, so, simply: if you want an update, review with your opinion!

Love and peace to all of you out there, people all over the world...

Mooncheese xxx


	2. Putting the Brakes On

_Two young boys are sitting side by side on a cobbled street under the shade of a crumbling Victorian house. Music thumps loudly from the house beside, and one boy drums his hands on the hot concrete, keeping time to the beat. The other is slowly and carefully dissecting a dandelion, a look of intense concentration on his seven year old face. _

"_I'm bored," says the drummer suddenly, sitting up and sweeping his shock of dark hair from his eyes. "_You're _boring."_

_His brother merely grunts in reply, keeping his eyes on the ripped dandelion, oozing with liquid and trailing milky droplets down his palm. _

"_Reggie, you're bored too. Why don't you say so?"_

_Reggie gives a casual shrug of his shoulders. "I'm not bored." His brother sighs melodramatically, then reaches forward and plucks the dandelion from his hand, tossing it casually into the gutter before them. Reggie sits in silence for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he merely wipes his sticky hands and lies back to stare at the sky. _

"_C'mon, Reggie!" His brother pokes him playfully in the ribs. "Let's go somewhere!"_

"_Where?"_

"_Anywhere! We've never been anywhere without Mother and Father, have we?"_

_Reggie appears to contemplate this new idea. For one long moment he lies in thoughtful silence, twisting a piece of grass around his finger. Suddenly a large grin breaks out on his face, making his sullen features quite attractive for a moment. "OK," he says simply, sitting up and gazing steadily at Siri. "What shall we do?"_

0o0

It was, to use a hideously out-dated cliché, a gorgeous day outside. The sun was shining with all its clichéd might, the wind was blowing all it could, the Giant Squid was lazing around the lake…

Yes, it was a wonderfully hot June day.

Perfect.

Unfortunately, Sirius was not in a position to be appreciating any weather related delights. At that particular moment, Sirius's mood would have been more suited to thunderstorms and natural disasters. Such as earthquakes, for example.

"Slow down? Slow _down_?" Sirius knew he was shouting, but to be honest, he didn't give a fuck. "Remus, who the hell are you to tell me what to do?"

Remus glanced edgily around the Great Hall, his expression of deep seated discomfort deepening when he realised several people were staring at them. Nonetheless, he continued determinedly with what he had started. "I'm not telling you what to do, Sirius!" His tone was clipped with irritation. "You always blow things out of proportion. I'm just giving you _advice._"

"I don't want your advice," Sirius said sulkily, turning his head away with every intention of starting up a conversation elsewhere. He sighed slightly as Remus determinedly grabbed his hair and hauled him around to face him once more, though he couldn't really feel surprised. Remus was like a terrier once he got his teeth into something: he just wouldn't let go.

"Look, all I'm saying is, you and James need to stop with the whole 'teenage rebel, devil-may-care' attitude. Or at least put the brakes on a little bit." Sirius raised a derisive eyebrow.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Carefully, he untangled Remus's fingers from his hair and sat up, teasing it back into place as he did so.

"Getting wasted every other weekend?" Remus began counting on his fingers. "Switching girlfriends every two seconds, or, for want of a better word, Snog Buddies? Smoking? It's not a good way to live, mate."

"Peter goes drinking with us as well," replied Sirius defiantly, still focusing grimly on his hair. "Why are you picking on me?"

"Peter _used _to go drinking with you," corrected Remus, pointedly ignoring the previous question, "right up until he almost had a liver failure trying to keep up with you and James."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, why aren't you saying all this to James as well?"

"Already have." Remus sighed. "He reacted much the same way as you are."

Despite his bad mood, Sirius felt a grin break out on his face. "It's not looking good for our little Moony…two on one…" He shook his head mock-sadly.

"Sirius, I'm being serious." Remus's lips twitched with the effort of trying not to laugh at the unintentional pun. "You're going to screw up your lives if you keep this up. So just slow down, OK?"

Sirius leant back in his chair until he was balancing on the two back legs. Casually, he put a fork in his mouth, rattling it between the top and bottom teeth with sharp clinks. He gazed directly at Remus through fronds of dark hair and frowned slightly, though he was fully aware of the slight patronising grin playing around his mouth as he did so.

"Moony, mate," he said slowly. "I think you've got the wrong end of the wand here. I don't think it's a case of me slowing _down_. I think it's more an issue of _you_," he jabbed the fork in Remus's direction for emphasis. "speeding _up._"

"That can be arranged," came a disembodied voice from behind Sirius, making him jump and very nearly go toppling over backwards. James appeared from nowhere, casually leaping up onto the table, stepping over plates of food, and plopping into the bench on the opposite side. He doled out several large spoonfuls of chicken salad onto his plate, then looked up at them. "Has Moony given you the lecture, Padfoot?"

Sirius grinned. "Lectured himself into a frenzy, Prongs."

Remus punched him in the arm. "It wasn't a lecture!"

"Oh yeah, then what was it?"

"It was friendly advice."

James laughed aloud. "Well, thanks for the friendly advice, Moony. But Sirius is right, man. We're _teenagers, _we're allowed to act this way. Now you," he looked sternly at Remus. "You're acting like a stuffy old man."

Remus flushed slightly. "I am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too infinite!"

"Am not infinite plus one!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows as he observed the exchange. "OK, guys, let's stop with the high flying witticisms here," he drawled slowly. "All this dazzling intellect is giving me a headache."

"You got something better to do?" said James, his mouth now crammed full with salad. Sirius pointedly did not look at the mashed lettuce and chicken free falling from James's jaw, and instead focused on his eyes.

"Well Prongsie, now you've come to mention it…" He paused dramatically. "…I haven't. Are too infinite plus infinite."

0o0

The only thing better than kissing a gorgeous girl, Sirius reflected happily as he locked lips with Claudia (or Catrina) of Ravenclaw, was kissing a gorgeous girl with no strings attached. Claudia (it might have been Christina) had recently broken up with her boyfriend, and wanted someone with whom she could make out with in a very public spot in order to make said ex boyfriend jealous. Naturally, this wasn't the case in the way she told it to Sirius, whom she would have believe that she had 'moved on' but still 'needed comforting.'

Sirius tried not to laugh as she deepened the kiss, and began running long manicured nails through his hair. Girls like this were sexy, fantastic kissers but had no brains at all. Claudia (possibly even Clarissa) genuinely believed that Sirius couldn't see the real reason she was suddenly half-molesting him in the Great Hall when they had barely spoken two words before, and he wasn't about to burst her bubble. He would act shocked, he thought vaguely, when she tells him in a few hours time that they simply aren't right for each other. He would smile bravely and tell her that it was for the best. Then they would never speak again.

Boy, did he love these girls.

Just as Sirius was wondering when she would suction her lips away for air, a voice rang out across the Hall. "OY! YOU!"

The problem with yelling "oy, you" in a public place is that everyone automatically assumes you're talking to them, and instantly everyone, from Claudia/Christina/Catrina to Dumbledore swivelled their heads around to gawp.

There was no doubt in this case, however, that the yeller wasn't referring to Sirius. A tall, brown haired boy was striding furiously across the Hall, his eyes locked onto Sirius. "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Sirius started, looking from Claudia to the crazed boy, then released her at once, raising his hands in the air and backing off. The next second he had ducked, the heat of a curse ruffling his hair, and he automatically dived a hand into his robes for his wand.

"You seem angry, mate," he said conversationally, deflecting the second hex that came spiralling toward him. "No chance of us sitting down and talking about it?"

The third curse came too quickly for Sirius to react; it whizzed past his ear and smashed a plate on the Hufflepuff table to dust. Sirius winced, rubbing his stung ear. "Take that as a no, then," he muttered, then swore and ducked again as the boy shot a stunner at him.

The boy turned bulging eyes onto Claudia, who was standing slightly to the left of Sirius, her hands over her mouth. "You STUPID BITCH!" He screamed uncontrollably, and in two swift steps he was shaking her furiously by the shoulders. Claudia uttered a small scream of pain, and Sirius quickly pointed his wand between the two of them, muttering a stinging hex under his breath. The boy yelped and released her at once, his hands marked with angry red burns, his face the picture of rage.

"Sorry, mate," said Sirius easily, sliding between them and pointing his wand at the boy's chest. "Can't let you do that."

"She's _my_ girlfriend, you bastard," he spat angrily, though with his wand on the floor and his hands painful, there was nothing he could do.

"Correction," said Sirius lazily, "She _was _your girlfriend. Time to get over it, mate."

The boy snarled. "I'm not your mate!"

"Ah, that's a shame," said Sirius sadly. "And we were getting along so well…" He stopped abruptly, the word 'mate' still poised on his tongue, then broke into a wide grin at the sight of Professor McGonagall making her way hastily toward them.

"Black, step away from Mr La'Font and lower your wand," she snapped. Sirius did so courteously, inclining his head in a small bow.

"The two of you, follow me _at once._"

Sirius's good mood vanished instantly. "Professor," he burst out hotly, "_I_ haven't done anything wrong!"

Her spectacles flashed at him. "That remains to be seen, Black."

His mouth fell open in shock. For the first time ever, he hadn't been the one in the wrong, yet it looked as though he was still going to be punished. "Professor McGonagall…!"

She grasped his shoulder in an iron grip, shoving him before her so he went stumbling along like a naughty toddler. "We shall discuss it in my office," she snapped. Sirius glared at her, then pushed his hands into his pockets and began walking away from her as fast as he could, deliberately manoeuvring his steps into a cocky strut as he did so.

Well. If he had to walk out as the defeated and not the hero, he might as well do it with style.

0o0

This entire chapter is dedicated to Aiko's Night-Patrol, talented writer _extraodinaire_, forbeing my first and only reviewer.YOU ROCK, KATIE! Now go update 'Girl from Mars.' Otherwise I will be angry...and you won't like me when I'm angry...

As for the rest of you who read but didn't review...hope you enjoyed the story anyway.

Love and peace xxx


	3. Lily

_A nine year old boy lurks in the shadows of a narrow hallway, his ear pressed against the gleaming, polished wood of his kitchen door. A man is speaking beyond the door, yet his voice is so deep, so low that Siri cannot hear him properly. He fidgets miserably, wishing that he could see through the door, but no magical power that he possesses could allow him such a gift. He sighs and gives up, drawing his head away, but a new voice suddenly speaks, a higher pitched voice that carries clearly through the heavy wood of the door. _

"_Please, Father!"_

_Siri's head shoots back to the door so abruptly his skull thumps loudly against the handle. Instantly he tenses, eyes squeezed shut as he kicks himself for his clumsiness. Then the door is jerked open, as he knew it would. _

_He cannot look at the huge, burly form of his father towering over him, choosing instead to look at his boots. "Listening, were you?" growls the giant. Siri shrinks further into himself, hands already covering his head. _

"_Get in here," the voice snarls, and Siri walks slowly forward, his knees trembling, into the dimly lit kitchen. The atmosphere is one of a hideous nightmare, but he knew it was impossible to wake up out of it. Reggie stands backed up against the wall, his arms tensed in front of him and his eyes like two black pebbles in a chalk white face. He does not look at Siri. He is focusing on the floor, lips moving slightly, yet he is talking to no-one but himself. Siri pauses, breath coming in short, panicky bursts, then positions himself beside his brother, so close their arms touch. Reggie's skin is ice cold. _

_The door closes with a sharp smack. Both boys flinch. There is silence for one excruciating moment. And then that voice begins to speak, that harsh, deep voice that drills into Siri's ears and makes his stomach clench up in fright. "Look at the pair of you," their father says. "Shaking like a couple of trapped rats."_

_He walks toward them, his steel capped boots cracking on the tiles like a whip. Silence hangs in the air, and tiny whimpers are escaping from Reggie, whose arms are now hiding his face as though anticipating an explosion. _

"_What are you, Regulas?" Their father's voice is soft, almost gentle. The whimpers become louder. _

"_Come on now, Regulas." Still the soothing tone. "We have been discussing this. What are you?"_

_Siri instinctively moves closer to his brother as Reggie makes several gulping attempts to muffle his sobs. Their father remains quiet, arms folded. Slowly, with jerky movement, Reggie lowers his arms. _

"_A Black," he says, his voice hoarse with fear. "I am a Black."_

"_Correct," hisses their father, every syllable building with intensity. "You are a Black, and Black's are respectable – worthy – ancient and _pure_." The last word was spat out like a bullet. "You are a Black and therefore superior to those around you. You are a Black and therefore will NOT be tainted by filthy fucking MUDBLOODS!"_

_Reggie gives a terrified sob, and Siri, unable to stop himself, puts out a hand, rubbing the back of Reggie's neck as he whimpers and cowers like an animal. "It's OK Reggie," he whispers, and like a bolt of raging lightning their father seizes Siri's upper arm. _

"_It's OK Reggie!" he imitates, his voice a high, mocking whine as he shakes Siri so hard his head bangs against the wall. Fire pain explodes in Siri's skull, and he screams in shock, attempting to twist his arm away but his father's grip is like a vice. "It's OK Reggie! Mixing with Muggles, eh? Persuading him to communicate with that filth? You're a disgrace to our blood!"_

_Siri clenches his eyes shut, locking his jaw grimly together to stop the yells of pain rallying to break free. The grip on his arm vanishes and he spirals dizzily into the wall, clutching his head as the agony continues to thump through his skull. Eyes streaming, he looks up in time to see his father return to Reggie. A strange, surreal quietness descends upon them. _

"_Just to confirm, Regulas. He made you both interact with Muggles?"_

_Without looking at Siri, Reggie nods faintly. _

_Their father turns and looks at Siri. "Do you concur with this version of events, Sirius?"_

_Just once, Siri nods, though his muscles are tensing already and his nod becomes an awkward jerk of the head. _

_Their father pauses for a moment, eyes pointing toward the ceiling. Reggie cringes backward into a corner, and slowly Siri brings his arms up over his head. _

_Then the punishment spell hits him, and he knows no more. _

_0o0 _

"That FUCKING bitch!"

Several heads turned as Sirius slammed the portrait and strode into the common room, pausing only to smack an energetic kick into a cupboard. For a moment he stood still, scanning the common room with dark eyes, then headed over to a small knot of familiar faces positioned on the sofa. Throwing himself into the two available places, he ignored the amused glances exchanged between James, Peter and Remus and glared silently into the fire. For a long moment, nothing was said.

"You get detention?" James said eventually, his face contorted with the effort of hiding a grin.

Sirius barely moved. "Yep."

"Every evening for a week again?"

"Yep."

"You angry?"

"Fucking YES!" shouted Sirius, so loudly that Peter jumped. "What the fuck did I do wrong? I was defending that Christina girl! How was I to know she had a damn boyfriend?"

There was another short pause. "And…did you know?" Peter was frowning in a way that suggested he was missing something, although this was, to be fair, a frequent expression with him. Sirius swivelled his head around to stare disbelievingly at him.

"Of course I fucking didn't know!"

All three looked sceptically at him, and he sighed.

"Really. I didn't. She told me they'd broken up."

"Well," said James slowly, "In a way, that's true. They _had _broken up, it was just that La'Font was choosing not to see it that way."

Sirius dug into his pockets, feeling around for the lighter and squashed packet of cigarettes he knew was in there. "Well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo," he said sarcastically as he lit up. "That's that mystery solved. It also proves my innocence – _I wasn't doing anything wrong._" He inhaled deeply, watching the first clouds of smoke drifting slowly upwards toward the ceiling. "Undeserved detentions, for the first time in this school."

A girl sitting with her legs curled under her in a nearby armchair coughed pointedly. Sirius snapped his gaze over to her at once, then leant in her direction.

"Is my smoke bothering you, love?"

She looked hesitantly at him, then straightened up slightly, a defiant look on her face. "It is, actually."

Sirius nodded understandingly. "I have an easy solution to that." He smiled charmingly. "Don't breathe."

Ignoring her stunned expression, he flung himself back onto the cushions and chuckled as she stormed away from them. Remus glared at him. "There was no call for that, Padfoot."

"Yeah, but it made me feel better." Sirius glanced around for something he could use as an ashtray, then shrugged and flicked it onto the carpet, assured in the fact that the House Elves would clean it up anyway. When he next looked up he noticed James had joined Remus in the glaring competition, and he raised an eyebrow at the pair of them.

"What?"

"That was one of Lily's friends," snapped James. Sirius groaned, smacking his palm into his head.

"Oh – God! That is SO terrible! That just means so much to me!"

James looked for a moment as though he would quite like to grind an imprint of his fist into Sirius's face, but instead he snarled "You're a right fucking moron, you know that, Sirius?"

Sirius stared at him, inwardly reeling in shock. James rarely spoke to him like that. Frowning, he took another drag from his cigarette, then passed it to the other hand and sat up, staring intently at James. "Something the matter, Prongs?"

"Get away from me, you reek of smoke."

Sirius frowned, then squeezed the end of his cigarette, extinguishing the glowing tip and crammed it back into his pocket. "There, gone. Happy?"

"Happy." James sat back and stared morosely up at the ceiling. "What does that word mean again?"

Leaning back, Sirius gazed at his friend's slumped posture and tried to figure out exactly what could be the cause of such misery. James wasn't a depressed person by nature, and Sirius knew from experience that very few things could keep him in a bad mood for long.

The sound of people arguing rose up from the happy knot of voices, and James raised his head, gazing with puppy dogs eyes over at the other side of the common room. Curious, Sirius swivelled his head around too, and within a single flash of dark red hair, it all became clear.

Lily Evans.

"He did WHAT?" demanded the aforementioned girl, her voice rising clearly above everyone else. "Who the hell does he think he is?"

To his mild discomfort, Sirius saw the girl she appeared to be shooting these questions at was the same girl who had coughed at his smoke. "Ah," he said casually. "Looks like I'm not too popular about now."

"Here she comes," murmured Peter, joining them in watching Lily, who had turned on her heel and was currently marching across the common room, dark green eyes sparking dangerously. Sirius, grinning despite himself, grabbed at a cushion and playfully hid his face behind it.

"I'm not here," he said in a loud stage whisper, as Lily's footsteps approached. "She'll never find me."

The cushion was ripped with such brute force away from him that his fingers were almost snapped in half. The next second, he was thumped several times with said cushion, which surprisingly hurt quite a bit.

"You're such a MORON, Black!" Lily all but screamed at him. "Nothing but an arrogant MORON!"

"I've been told," Sirius spluttered through a mouthful of cushion. "Could you kindly stop hitting me, please?"

The cushion-punching continued.

He tensed himself, waited for the next blow to fall, then snatched a fistful of the material and pulled hard. As he anticipated, Lily lost her balance and went toppling straight into him, landing with a surprised squeak on his lap, their noses all but an inch apart.

Sirius smirked. "This is all very cosy, isn't it?"

Lily was not happy.

Sirius spent the next minute or so doubled up, groaning and clutching his groin.

Her parting words were: "And let that be a lesson to you to never smoke in front of Alice again, and as a warning to _you, _Potter, to never talk to me again!"

"That's unfair," Sirius had tried to gasp out. "Why bring James into this?" But Lily had already gone.

"Why _did _she bring you into that?" he asked some ten minutes later, when he finally found the strength to clamber back onto the couch. James ignored him, and buried his head in his hands. Remus, however, answered.

"They had a row while you were with McGonagall. Quite a nasty one actually."

Sirius glanced at James's bowed head. "How did it begin?"

"Erm…" Remus furrowed his brow. "I'm not too sure. James, how did it begin?"

James's voice was oddly hollow, though it was touched with a tinge of defiance. "I only wolf whistled at her as she walked past."

Sirius cringed, imagining what followed all too easily. "I bet she loved that."

James stood up abruptly, his face a blank mask. Briefly, he looked over at the corner where Lily and her friends sat, then turned away once more, his features crumpled slightly. "Going to bed," he said shortly, then before anyone could say or do anything, he walked away, his spine stiff.

Sirius watched his friends retreating back for a moment, then turned to Remus. "Shit. She really got to him this time, didn't she?"

"Lily told him that she took offence at the whistle, James told her not to be such a prude, Lily started screaming that she hated him and didn't need to prove anything to him…and it all kind of escalated from there." Remus heaved a deep sigh. "Personally, I think it was the row to end all rows. Lily looked ready to do some serious injury."

Sirius mulled the story over in his head for a bit, then moaned in frustration and punched the sofa. "Merlin, and after all that, I came in and made things worse with my smoke, didn't I?" He ran his fingers through his hair, clenching hard at the roots. "I am so fucking stupid! Why didn't you stop me?"

Peter and Remus exchanged glances. "That's like saying 'why didn't you tell the fire not to be hot?'" retorted Remus. Sirius barely reacted, snakes of guilt were already writhing in his stomach, and it was a feeling he was unaccustomed to. Everyone knew the way James felt about Lily, but only Sirius knew the _extent _to which he loved her. It was to Sirius James had confided in the dead of the night, when both were extremely drunk, that he would do anything for Lily. Laughingly, Sirius had asked him if that included dieing for her.

James had replied, without a trace of a smile, that it did.

And if Sirius had screwed up any chance of James ever being happy with Lily…

"Wait here," he said shortly, rising and starting to push his way through a crowd of first years playing a clapping game by the fire. Remus looked up, his expression wary.

"Sirius…!" His tone was warning, but Sirius pretended not to hear as he scanned the common room, then located Lily with her friends. She was sitting with her legs crossed, a frown on her face as she sat slightly outside her friends conversation. For a second, Sirius hesitated. Lily didn't look like she was in the mood to be generous, especially with him…he thought again of James's face, then squared his shoulders and made his way over to her.

Lily saw him coming before he was anywhere near her. Her clear green eyes were fixed silently on his face, and she didn't move, didn't say anything, until he was right before her. Her friends conversation fell silent, and they all looked up at him. This didn't bother Sirius particularly – he was used, after all, to be being stared at by many girls – but this wasn't the time to be reflecting on such things. Quietly, he asked Lily if he could have a private word with her.

"And why," Lily asked briskly, anger bubbling under her words, "Should I grant you any such thing?"

"You'll want to hear this," Sirius replied, allowing some of the desperation he was feeling to seep into his voice. "Trust me."

"I don't trust you," she snapped at once, though he could already see the light of curiosity settling into her eyes. She turned away, showing him the back of her head, and Sirius hastily grabbed her shoulder. She turned back to look at him, fire blazing in her eyes, and he dropped his hand immediately.

"Please, Lily?"

She locked gazes with him for one long moment. Then, with an aggravated sigh, she stood up, taking hold of his elbow and dragging him over to a fairly secluded area at the back of the common room. "Make this quick," she said, folding her arms and staring impatiently up at him.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, wondering how on earth he could put what he felt into words. Cast in half shadow and light from the fire, Lily looked eerily beautiful as she stood before him, her hair softly illuminated to form a curtain of fire spilling down her shoulders. He could quite see why James was so drugged up on her. Scowling slightly at the thought, he began to cautiously put his thoughts into words.

"Look, Lily, first of all…I want to apologise for smoking in front of your friend." The words felt awkward and unnatural in his mouth, rather like forcing a round peg through a square hole. Lily raised her eyebrows at him.

"OK, A) Her name is _Alice, _and B) You should be apologising to her, not me." Sirius jerked his head back, stunned. He felt rather as though he'd been whacked hard in the face with a saucepan. He had been sure the apology would have softened Lily; he was, after all, infamous for never, _ever _saying sorry, even when the consequences were dire. Hastily, he attempted to correct his mistake.

"Of course, I'm going to apologise to her…to Alice as well," he said, flashing a quick smile at her. Lily's face remained stony. "But look, that's not what I wanted to talk about." He took a deep breath, formed the beginning of a sentence in his head, cringed and threw it away, formed another one, wished he was better with words, then shrugged and simply blurted it out.

"Prongs really cares about you, Lily."

"_Who_?" snorted Lily, a derisive grin on her face. Sirius felt himself go red.

"I mean, er, James. James really cares about you. That's what I meant to say." He silently swore and kicked himself. What the hell was going on? He _never _tripped over his words. Never mind, it was out now. He had to go on.

"I know he acts like a complete twat around you, but really, that's only because he likes you so much." He felt his face burn a deeper red, and thanked Merlin it was dark. He wasn't used to gushing clichéd sentiments at all, and knew he was doing a terrible job of it. Lily was staring at him, looking taken aback.

"Has Potter told you to say this? Is this another one of his schemes to get me to go out with him?" Her voice rose steadily in pitch, and several people looked around, interested. "Because if it is, Black, then I swear…!"

"It isn't!" Sirius hastened to assure her. "Lily, I know you don't trust me, but try to believe me. James has no part in this. You only ever see the stupid, arrogant side to him. You don't see how depressed he gets over you…" he stopped himself abruptly, wondering if he had gone too far. Lily's gaze was directed at the floor, her face expressionless.

"What I'm trying to say is…try to be a bit easier on James, eh?" Sirius attempted a devastating grin, which was completely wasted as Lily wasn't looking at him anyway. "He's not all as bad as you think." There, he'd said it. And made a total idiot out of himself too. Now all he could do was stand there looking awkward and wait for Lily's response.

She was silent for a moment, focusing on her nails as she appeared to mull Sirius's words over. Eventually she looked up, and her eyes were hard and blazing once again.

"Sorry Black, but this means nothing to me unless James tells me himself. Nice try, though." She turned to go, and Sirius vaguely felt his jaw drop.

"But he can't tell you himself – he's too stupid!" He called after her. Lily stopped and turned back to him – her expression was cold, but there was a playful light in her eyes that Sirius had never seen there before.

"I've got no time for stupid men, I'm afraid, Black," she said easily, and with that, she left him to stand alone.

0o0

Thanks to those who reviewed! It seems some of you (other than the wonderful Aiko's Night Patrol (looking forward to your update, by the way!)) actually like this story, so I hope you enjoyed reading! Please review and let me know what you think - remember, reviews will inspire me and all that jazz. You know, if want an update, you review.

Love and peace xxx


	4. Insomnia

_It was to the sound of soft crying that Siri awoke, entangled in sweaty blankets and the paralysis of sleep. After several seconds of attempting to make sense of the shadowed, dream filled world around him, he sat up._

"_Reggie?" he whispered into the darkness. He gazed intently over at the opposite wall, the outline of a door only just discernible in the heavy black that pressed on his eyeballs. Kicking his legs free of the duvet, Siri slid out of bed and padded sleepily toward the door, pulling it open and peering tentatively into the conjoining room beyond. _

"_Reggie?" he hissed again. Silence prickled in the air, running cold fingers up Siri's spine. He shivered, wondering if he had dreamt the noise. Then the dark lump of blankets shifted in Reggie's bed, and a voice suddenly spoke into darkness. _

"_Siri?"_

_He needed no further invitation. Without a word, Siri closed the door behind him and felt his way uncertainly to the dark shape which was his brother's bed. _

_Reggie looked up at him, a single bar of moonlight highlighting the damp curve of his cheek and the glint of his eyes. Silently he wriggled over, pressing his back to the wall, and Siri climbed in, his eyes closing before his head hit the pillow. _

"_Bad dream?" he murmured, feeling Reggie's fingers clutch briefly at his arm before releasing him. Reggie sighed and didn't reply, turning over so that his back was to Siri. _

_Before long, sleep returned to the two brothers once again. _

0o0

The grass sparkled in the morning sun, a diamond-like dew drop clinging to every blade. Birds twittered in a lazy version of the dawn chorus, then tucked their heads straight back under their wings again. Snores reverberated through the air in the sixth year's boys dormitory as the dim morning light filtered sleepily through the gap in the curtains. The whole of Hogwarts was drowsing in the final stages of sleep, still lolling in their dreams, too warm and comfortable to do anything else.

Everyone that is, except for Sirius.

Sirius, currently, was slumped in a wicker chair by his bed, staring thoughtfully at the opposite wall.

At least, it was thoughtful at first glance. However, once you realised that he hadn't blinked nor shifted his gaze for the past hour or so, it became less thoughtful and more toward the 'vacant' and 'glazed' end of the spectrum.

Stiffly, almost mechanically, Sirius lifted his arm and pursed his lips around the cigarette that he had lit up around half an hour ago and forgotten about. It took him just over thirty seconds to realise that it had burnt itself out. Even then, he didn't care very much.

Sirius had never pulled an all-nighter before. True, he was naturally happiest at night, and would often stay up to around one o'clock in the morning on a normal school night, no problem. He often got most of his best thinking done at night.

But when it hit him that the sun was up, that he had been awake _all night_ staring at a _blank wall…_

"Fuck me," he muttered, his voice sounding like a fork being scraped down a plate. Thoughtfully, he took another drag on his cigarette that had gone out.

Nevertheless, the night had not been unproductive. The first part of the night, just after midnight, had seen Sirius pacing silently up and down the room, hands folded behind his back, Peter's snores drilling through the silence. The other Marauders were accustomed to Sirius's mild insomnia, and had learned to block out his activity that continued into the small hours. This Sirius had been thankful for; he rather liked being alone in the darkness.

It had been around three o'clock when the idea had hit him.

Just like that. He had been gazing vacantly out into the grounds, wishing it was a full moon, when all of a sudden; the idea had fallen out of nowhere and smacked him upside the head. It was so brilliant, so _perfect, _that Sirius had spent around an hour after that congratulating himself and celebrating his own genius. The hours after _that _had been spent fine-tuning this plan until it was practically _infallible. _

The hours after that had been spent exactly how he was spending them now: slumped in a wicker chair, his thoughts becoming more and more disjointed until there was nothing but a large, empty buzzing noise in his head.

"Infallible," Sirius muttered suddenly. He grinned widely and raised his hand, toasting himself with an imaginary glass of wine. "Genius."

But he wasn't too sure what he was toasting to any more.

A creaking of bedsprings alerted him to the fact that someone was awake. The thought filled Sirius with sluggish delight, and he smiled expectantly. A tousled head appeared from a bed, and then a pyjama clad torso. Sirius squinted at the person squinting at him, then waved lazily.

"S'up," he croaked. "Have a good sleep?"

The person fumbled around for something on his bedside table, eventually locating a pair of glasses, before sliding them on and peering over at Sirius once more.

"Padfoot?" James whispered blearily, his voice etched with sleep. "What are you doing there?" He frowned, scratching his head sleepily as he took in Sirius's face. "Have you been there all _night_?"

Sirius looked thoughtfully down at himself. "Maybe."

"Shit." James rolled out of bed, then staggered toward him before eventually collapsing into the window seat. "Sirius…dude. What the hell have you been doing all night long?"

Sirius smiled in what he thought was a Wise and Mysterious manner. "Thinking."

"Thinking. Now there's a new one. Thinking about what?"

"About Lily. About you." Sirius crossed his legs and chewed on his cigarette, rather wishing that it was a pipe. A pipe was so much more Wise and Mysterious than a dog-eared cigarette. "You see, James, there is a curious thing with you and Lily. I can see you both getting married. Having kids. The only question is getting you both to the stage in which you stop tearing each others heads off enough to start fancying each other."

James leant his head onto the cold window pane, eyeing his friend sleepily. "Ok, Sirius, mate, you have had way too little sleep. Are you going to go to bed yourself, or do I have to force you?"

Sirius scowled, absently patting his pockets for a lighter. "Sleep is for wimps. Let me tell you about my plan."

James's eyebrow rose. "Plan? You have a plan, now?"

"Yeah, baby." Sirius's hands shook very slightly as he lit up the much chewed cigarette, then settled back, grinning at James as the plumes of smoke rose, twisting and curling into the air. "I have a plan."

James stared at him for one long moment, then stood up abruptly. "Alright, get your arse into bed right now."

"Wha…?" Sirius blew out smoke furiously. "James – I don't need to sleep!"

"I know for a fact that you need sleep, Padfoot, believe it or not. A - You just called me _baby, _and B – You're smoking a fag that looks like it went out years ago. What's more, you're pretending it's a pipe."

Sirius glanced down in mild confusion at his cigarette, which hung limp and cold in his hands. "But it was smoking a second ago…" he muttered, flicking it in an effort to make it magically re-light itself. James rolled his eyes.

"Hallucinations too. Sirius - " A wand trained itself on his heart. " – get to bed!"

Grumbling under his breath, Sirius slouched toward his bed with the idea of lying down for five minutes, then springing straight back up again.

Within two minutes he was fast asleep.

0o0

It was a curious feeling that one had, after staying awake for twenty four hours and then sleeping for one. Sirius passed his tongue over dry lips, gazing blearily at the somewhat fuzzy outline of Professor Slughorn. It was similar, this feeling, to being flattened by a steam roller, used as a hammock by a basilisk, and then jumped up and down upon by several over weight children.

In other words, he felt like shit.

It took him around ten seconds to realise that James's elbow was digging into his ribs. After wondering vaguely why his side was hurting so much, he eventually turned to look at his best friend. James looked all blurry too, he mused thoughtfully. Did he need glasses?

"Padfoot!" James appeared to be hissing. "You look completely out of it. Wake up!"

Sirius frowned. "I am awake," he slurred, feeling drunk and wishing whole heartedly that he was. He groaned wearily, slumping onto the edge of his cauldron and peering into the bleak stone depths. "When does this class end, again?" he asked, then giggled inanely as the echoes of his voice rang around his ears. "Can you hear me, Prongs? It's quite cool in here, actually…wouldn't mind sleeping in this…"

"Mr Black?"

Once again, it took several seconds for Sirius to react. When he eventually hauled himself upright, it was to the sight of Professor Slughorn, standing with his hands clasped over his bulbous belly and frowning concernedly at him.

"Mr Black, are you alright?"

"'M fine, Professor-Sir!" Sirius saluted him, though he had no idea why. "Tickety-boo!"

Slughorn bent down with difficulty, peering into his eyes. Sirius grinned lazily back. He looked sharply at James. "Has he taken something, Potter?"

James shrugged. "Wouldn't surprise me, sir."

"Mr Black? Have you taken something?"

Sirius sniggered, the idea striking him as rather amusing. "Yeah, I have, Sir. Hogwarts has its own weed farm, didn't you know? Ever wondered why they don't let you in Greenhouse Six? That's why Sprout's always as high as a butterfly…"

Slughorn stood staring at him with something close to disbelief in his eyes. Then he raised an eyebrow and turned to James, who was staring at the desk with his jaw set, determinedly not meeting anyone's eye. "Mr Potter, take your friend to the Hospital Wing." His voice exuded disgust. "He's obviously of no good to anyone while he is here."

Sirius had a vague feeling that he was being reprimanded, but he was too tired to care. Raising his hands in mock celebration as James all but physically dragged him out the door, he shouted back at the ogling faces now watching him. "G'bye, Professor! Go easy on the drugs, now! G'bye, everyone else! Same message!"

The world seemed so much friendlier when you are functioning on one hour's sleep, Sirius thought happily as the walls seemed to fly past him, James's explosive laughter ringing in his ears. Lack of sleep made you forget consequences existed, because the only important thing that really existed in the world was getting to fall asleep again soon.

"Prongs," he said poking James in the arm after several moments of walking in a sleepy daze. "I wanna tell you about my plan now."

James turned a grinning face toward him. "Sirius, I don't think you're up to doing anything right now. Sleep first, eh?"

Sirius groaned in frustration, then swore violently as he stumbled and almost pitched head first down a set of stairs. "I stay awake all night for you, formulating the best damn plan of my life, and you don't even wanna hear it!"

Details became foggy as James murmured something in reply, then pushed him into the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey looked up in surprise as they both burst through the doors, then stood before her, panting after the strenuous walk.

"Madam Pomfrey," gasped James, sounding, to the untrained ear, genuinely panicky. "There's something wrong with Sirius…I think he's hallucinating…Professor Slughorn asked me to bring him…"

Sirius grinned and threw his arms wide, playing up to James's story. "I love mushrooms!" He roared, saying the first crazyish thing that popped into his head. He smiled winningly at Madam Pomfrey, who looked slightly frozen in her shock. "Preferably of the magic variety, of course."

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "Get him into bed," she said wearily. "You boys…one day you'll learn…"

James took hold of Sirius's arm and hauled him toward the nearest pristine white bed, then pushed him onto it. Sirius fell into the soft, clean smelling pillows with a contented sigh, then reached up and patted James blindly on the shoulder.

"Good cover story, Prongsie," he muttered. "I owe you one, mate."

He didn't hear James's reply, as sleep pounced eagerly upon him and near forced him into a comfortable, black oblivion.

0o0

It was around three hours later when Sirius stumbled, dishevelled and blurry eyed but with his old manic grin firmly in place, into the Great Hall.

He had woken up fifteen minutes ago to Madam Pomfrey staring at him with a frown creasing her smooth, young face.

"There's nothing wrong with you, is there?" she had said rhetorically, not sounding at all surprised

Sirius smiled. "So it would seem," he replied, aiming, once again, for the Wise and Mysterious manner that Dumbledore seemed to accomplish so easily.

Madam Pomfrey pointed to the door. "Get out of my Infirmary."

And so, after grabbing his school bag and bidding her a polite goodbye, Sirius had done just that.

He felt much better now he had a few more hours sleep inside him, but he still didn't feel entirely awake. Floating down the aisle between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, he grinned and waved at the few people staring at him, not really bothered as to whether they waved back or not. Craning his neck to look up and down his house table, he eventually he spotted James and Remus sitting opposite each other at the end. He beamed, delighted, and started to strut his way over to them.

He had only made ten exceptionally well strutted paces when a small blonde whirlwind bounded over and began attempting to throttle him.

"SIRIUS! Omigodican'tstopthinkingaboutyouandyouweresobraveandIwassoscared - "

Sirius choked in shock, almost blinded by a mess of fair hair and near deafened by the high pitched babble of words being screeched at maximum volume into his ear. In desperation, he put out his hands and grabbed at the girl's shoulders, holding her at arms length and leaning his head back to squint at her.

"OK – you – whoever you are…say that all again in English." He flinched as the girl tossed her hair away from her face and smiled breathlessly at him. The face was familiar…in fact, it was very familiar…

"Clarissa." He released her and tried to give her a pleasant smile, though it probably looked more like a grimace. "What can I do for you?"

Her own smile became a little forced. "You're so silly! I'm Claudia, remember?"

He nodded vaguely, looking discreetly over her shoulder toward the Gryffindor table, where James and Remus were both raising their eyebrows at him. _Help me, _Sirius thought silently, willing one of them to come over. _For the love of Merlin…help me…_

Claudia reached out and touched his arm, and he started violently, jerking it back slightly. She didn't seem to notice. "I just wanted to thank you," she said, smiling shyly at him. "For what you did yesterday."

"No problem," Sirius muttered, starting to edge very carefully away. "Forget it."

"How can I possibly forget it? After what you did? You protected me." Sirius watched with growing alarm as the look in her eye became a little maniacal, and she reached out once more, linking her arm into his. "I owe you a lot…"

"No, you don't, really," said Sirius hastily, trying with less and less success to yank his arm back. "Clarissa - "

"Claudia!"

"Claudia. Sorry." He looked up and gestured frantically to James, who was now openly laughing at him, practically thumping the table in his mirth. Bastard. It looked like he would be getting out of this one alone. It was typical of life, Sirius reflected sadly as he slid his one free hand into his robes for his wand. You were born alone, you died alone, and you freed yourself from crazy girls alone.

"Alright there, Padfoot?"

Ah, he was wrong. Yes, you were born and you died alone, but as long as you had a trusty Moony by your side, you would always have a helping hand in wriggling out of tight corners. Sirius smiled in relief at Remus, who was standing before them with his hands in his pockets, an amused grin tugging at his mouth.

"Remus!" Sirius used the temporary distraction to twist his arm free. Claudia looked slightly annoyed at the interruption, and let him go without a fuss. "Yes – ah – don't we have to be doing something about now?"

"Absolutely," Remus said gravely. "Has to be done right away. No excuses."

Sirius silently applauded Remus's acting skills, then turned back to Claudia, regretful expression already hitched into place. "Sorry, love, must dash. See you around."

She nodded, a torn look in her eyes as though having a silent debate with herself, then very quickly stood on tip toe and kissed him on the cheek. "See you around," she echoed, touching his arm again briefly before making her way back to the Ravenclaw table.

"That sounded like a promise to me, Padfoot," sniggered Remus as the two of them made their way toward James. Sirius stared at him in horror.

"Tell me the truth, Moony: do I have a stalker on my hands?"

Remus appeared to ponder over his question for a moment. "Truthfully?" He smiled widely. "Yes."

James was still laughing when Sirius sat down opposite him. "That was hilarious!" he choked out, slightly red in the face with the exertion of his cackles. Sirius eyed him in disgust as he reached out for a slice of bread and began to butter it in dignified silence.

Remus was smirking as well. "As I was saying just now, Prongs, I think Sirius has a stalker on his case, here."

James's laughter grew louder.

Sirius sighed slightly, keeping his eyes on his bread as he made steady swipes with his butter knife. "When you've all finished wetting yourselves at my expense," he said serenely, "You might want to listen to the plan that I spent all night formulating." He raised his head and locked eyes with James. "A plan that will succeed in getting you and Lily together for good."

James stopped laughing.

0o0

Well, that was a nice meaty chapter, now wasn't it? Next chapter, you get to find out exactly what Sirius's plan is. And the havoc it will most likely cause…oops, have I said too much?

Review…go on, make my day…

Love and peace xxx


	5. The Plan

"_It's here."_

_Siri opened his eyes slowly, confused. His dim bedroom filtered into sight around him, but there was something blocking his vision... He focused on a pair of legs standing directly before him, and frowned. Where had the legs come from? _

"_Sirius, it's here."_

_He rolled over, squinting up at his brother's face, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?" he croaked, sitting up and slumping wearily over his knees. He groaned and pushed sweaty hair out his eyes as Reggie sat down on his bed with a creak of bedsprings. _

"_It's here. Your Hogwart's letter." There was a note of apprehension in his voice, but it was quickly masked by indifference. "I thought you'd want to know."_

_He frowned into his palms as the words wriggled tiredly around his head, then he looked up sharply. Reggie was sitting with his head bent, hands twisting something agitatedly in his lap. His eyes refused to look at Siri. _

_Siri held out his hand. "Give it here, then."_

_There was a moment of silence. Then a small, defiant: "No."_

_Siri frowned more deeply, studying his brother's profile. Masked by darkness, it was hard to tell exactly what Reggie was thinking. "Why not?"_

_There was another pause. "Why do you have to go?" The words were whispered so lightly they were almost inaudible, yet they hung in the air between them. Reggie turned his face away so that Siri was faced with the back of his head. "You're leaving me."_

"_I'm not," replied Siri automatically, though he knew it was a lie. Reaching out to touch his brother's arm, he tried to find something comforting to say, but the resultant flinch at his touch was so violent the words died in his mouth. A crumple came from Reggie's hands, and Siri glanced down. There, barely discernable in the gloom, was his Letter. Unable to help himself, he reached for it. Quick as a flash, Reggie stood up, holding it away from him. _

"_You're not going," he said fiercely, his eyes two hollow pits. "I'll hate you forever if you do!" _

"_Then hate me," Siri said without thinking. "Give me my Letter!"_

_Reggie stared at him in silence, his chest heaving up and down with harsh, ragged breaths. Then, out of the darkness, his voice rose vehemently. "You hate me!"_

_Siri clenched his hair in frustration. "Reg, stop it. You know I can't not go. Why are you doing this?"_

"_Because you're leaving me!" The last word broke down in what sounded like a sob. "You're going to have fun at Hogwarts, and I'm going to be left here, with…" _

_His words trailed away. Siri gazed at his brother's silhouette in defeated silence, his fingers still woven around locks of his hair. "I'll come back," he said quietly, his words breaking the misery filled bubble that surrounded them. "I'll be back at Christmas time Reggie – I promise. And then - " his voice rose with false cheer, " – then, in a couple of years time, you'll be coming to Hogwarts too. And we'll be there together."_

_Reggie said nothing. _

"_Trust me, Reg. It's just two years. Then we'll be together at Hogwarts. You'll see." _

0o0

It was a good plan, Sirius thought, as he watched James's, Peter's and Remus's collective reactions. There had been a lot of bother in actually telling them The Plan in the first place, because James had insisted that Peter had to be there to hear it, which resulted in them all turning the castle upside down in order to find him. Eventually they had located him in the Library, and Sirius, gasping for breath and clutching a stitch in his side, was finally able to wheeze out his Plan.

The three of them were displaying undeniably opposite reactions, but then, Sirius reflected regretfully, the four of them could rarely agree to anything. James was staring almost vacantly at the wall, a thoughtful crease furrowed into his brow, and Peter…well, it was hard to say exactly what Peter was doing, because he was asleep on the desk. Remus was currently wearing an expression of incredulous disgust, which, Sirius thought, probably meant he didn't like it.

"I don't like it."

Big surprise. "What don't you like about it, Remus?" Sirius settled back into his armchair, chewing on his cigarette and wearing his best psycho-analyst intelligent frown.

Remus leaned forward, plucked the cigarette from his fingers, squeezed the tip and then threw it to the ground. "For one thing, it means me getting drunk!"

"And me," chipped in Peter, his voice muffled by the tabletop. The back of his neck was tinged green.

Sirius sadly watched his cigarette roll out of sight under the bookcase, but decided against throwing himself after it. "It's only a couple of times, guys! And think about the consequences." He waved a graceful, psycho-analyst-worthy hand over at James, who was continuing to frown at the wall as though it was doing something insulting. "We could be turning our Prongsie's life around."

There was silence for a moment as Remus gazed stonily at Sirius, then sniffed and picked up a large, mouldy looking book from the table and hid his face. It was clear from this gesture that he didn't think James's life being turned around was a suitable excuse for getting drunk. Peter nestled more deeply into his arms and also maintained a cold, unfriendly silence.

Disgusted at their lack of enthusiasm, Sirius rolled his eyes and turned away. "Well, Jamesie calls the shots, boys," he said casually, angling his gaze at James. "Prongs, buddy: do you want your life turned around and possibly upside down _and, _if you're lucky, inside out as well?"

Remus made a noise that could have been a derisive snort, but didn't say anything. James unglued his eyes from the cracks in the wall and began studying his fingernails intently, letting the silence grow and mutate into an awkward bubble around them.

"D'you actually think it will work?" he eventually asked of his right thumb. Sirius let out his trademark bark-laugh.

"Prongs, buddy, is the sky blue?"

"No," snapped Remus from behind his book. "At the moment it is a deep and unflattering shade of dark grey."

Sirius glared at the back of the tome, then he switched his eyes to James, who was frowning once again and running a hand agitatedly through his hair. Sirius sighed internally – it seemed such a lot of bother about nothing. All James had to do was agree to his _superb _plan, score with Lily, and then live happily ever after. There was nothing, Sirius thought glumly to himself, hard about that. Why couldn't he just say yes already?

There came another sigh, this time escaping from James's mouth. "What have I got to lose?" he said, looking up with a shade of his madcap grin. Sirius stared at him, a smile slowly unfurling on his face.

"YES, Prongs!" he said gleefully, reaching out and shaking James's shoulders by way of expressing his delight. "That's the spirit, mate!"

The librarian shot Sirius a piercing glance, but he could hardly care less. James still wasn't looking one hundred percent, absolutely certain of The Plan, but that hardly mattered either. All that counted was that James had agreed – The Plan had lift off!

Remus groaned loudly, earning an irritated 'shhh!' from the librarian. Uncharacteristically, he took no notice. "This is complete crap," he said resignedly. "But if James is giving it the go-ahead, then I'll do whatever. But I just want you to know - " he shot Sirius a glare, " – that I do _not _agree, and will not be held accountable for whatever the hell happens next."

"Brilliant!" said Sirius, happily ignoring Remus and slinging his feet onto the table. "Drinks all round!"

As they exited the library fifteen minutes later, James unexpectedly caught hold of Sirius's arm and pulled him over to one side, letting Remus and Peter go without them. "I want you to tell me the truth, Si," he said in a low voice, his face unusually serious. "This…plan. Do you honestly think it's going to work?"

Sirius hesitated for a moment. Open worry was stirring up in James's hazel eyes as they locked questioningly onto his, and his hand hadn't dropped from Sirius's arm. It remained as it was, squeezing heavy pressure onto his elbow, and the words hung in the air between them.

"Sure it will, Prongs." Sirius flashed his lop sided grin, but James didn't return the smile. His expression became grimmer, and he shook Sirius's arm very slightly.

"No, Sirius. _Is it going to work_?"

Sirius stared into James's eyes, the laughter dying from his face. Understanding flashed between them.

"It will, Prongs," he said softly, trying to make his voice as genuine as possible. "I promise, mate."

0o0

The fire was guttering loudly in the grate as a mournful wind howled around Hogwarts, beating at the old stone walls and trying in vain to get inside. She shivered slightly and pulled her blanket closer to her, focusing more intently on her book.

"_I love you," he said quietly, his eyes two burning, fathomless pools. "I always have."_

_She tried to hold back the tears, but they were sliding down her face before she could stop them. "I never knew," she choked, and he held her closer, and together, the two of them slipped away…_

Lily snorted slightly, closing the book with a snap. "Romantic crap," she muttered, tossing the paperback to the floor. She sighed deeply, lolling her head against the back of her armchair, watching the flames dance and bow before her through half closed eyes. The story played out again in her mind, softly, like an old lullaby she had heard once long ago. Nestled deeply in warmth and blanket, Lily felt her eyes begin to drift close as the characters appeared before her, wrapped up in their own perfect lives…

"Lily?"

She started violently, then whipped her head around to see Lupin standing before her, a slightly apologetic look on his face.

"Merlin, you made me jump," she said crossly, sinking back into her cushions. "You should cough or something before sneaking up on people like that."

"Sorry," Lupin replied, and he looked it, too. He smiled nervously and ran a hand through his honey brown locks, eyes not quite meeting with Lily's. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and said "Yeah – I'm really sorry about that."

"Is there something you want?" Lily asked curiously, studying his face. The fire was throwing his features into sharp relief, giving him an oddly surreal quality that made her feel as though she were dreaming still. Surreptitiously, she pinched her wrist. Definitely not a dream.

"I – I wondered if you might want to come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend."

Lily blinked, unsure if she had heard him correctly. "_What_?" she blurted out, then immediately blushed furiously. "Er – I mean – sorry…?" She shook her head slowly, feeling her face fire up into a furnace. "Look, I'm sorry, but I'm not interested."

Lupin looked mortified. "No! No, not like that!" He gave a rather high pitched laugh. "I meant as, er, friends. Just as friends, nothing more, nothing…" he stopped himself abruptly. "As friends," he repeated more calmly, though two bright patches of pink were marring his pale face. "I mean, we're the two Gryffindor sixth year Prefects, aren't we? We should know each other better. I mean…"

Lily gazed up into his face, and felt a sudden sharp twang of shame. He was right. They had been Prefects together for over a year now, and were still little more than acquaintances. She supposed that it was because she had known he was such close friends with Potter that had prevented her from letting him get too close – but wasn't that a rather unfair thing to think? Being friends with someone didn't mean you were _like _them.

"OK," she said simply, cutting off Lupin's new stream of babble. "You're right," she said, in response to his incredulous stare. "We _should _know each other better." She paused, thinking for a moment. "I haven't planned anything for Saturday, so I'll meet you by the front doors on Saturday morning, alright?"

"Al – Alright!" Lupin stuttered, still looking completely gob-smacked, and, to Lily's confusion, vaguely guilty. He turned away, pausing for a moment to add: "See you later," over his shoulder, before making his way toward the boys staircase.

Lily watched him go, a frown on her face. There was something decidedly odd about that exchange, she mused to herself as she reached down for her book once more. There was probably nothing to it, just a feeling…putting it to the back of her mind, she began reading again.

"_I never knew," she choked, and he held her closer, and together, the two of them slipped away…_

0o0

"Did she say yes? Did she?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows, not bothering to get up from lying on his bed as he heard rather than saw James fling himself bodily at Remus, who had just arrived through the door.

"Of course she said yes," he drawled before Remus had a chance to reply, without opening his eyes. "Am I right, or am I right, Moony?"

There was a brief pause. Sirius cracked open an eye and turned his head to grin at Remus, who was looking faintly green and rather irritated. He made a faint noise in his throat and, without meeting anyone's eye, shoved an anxious James out of the way and made his way toward his bed.

"Well?" demanded James, following Remus at once and breathing down his neck as the werewolf sat down heavily on his bed. "Did she say no?" When no answer came his eyes popped, and he looked quite insane for a moment. "MOONY MAN, TALK TO ME!"

"Merlin and all the Saints – she said yes!" Remus shouted back. He looked oddly blank as his own words sunk in. "She said yes…to me…"

"YES, baby!" Sirius cried, leaping out of bed with a whoop of delight. Running across the room, he dived onto Remus's mattress, almost causing the other boy to go bouncing straight off the other side. "I knew she would!" He lolled casually back onto his elbows and smirked triumphantly up at James, who was staring, dumbstruck, at Remus. "And you had doubt, Jamsie boy…"

James ignored him. "She said _yes_?" he repeated, looking vaguely ill. "To _you_?"

Remus nodded silently.

James's face contorted. Without warning he strode across the room and booted a bedpost, causing a piercing ring to strike through the air. The other boys watched him in wary silence as he turned back to face them, a very black look on his face. "So she said yes to you," he said quietly. He chuckled mirthlessly. "You must tell me your secret, Remus. She's never said the Y word to me."

Sirius glanced quickly from James's stony face to Remus's horrified expression, then leapt quickly to his feet. "Prongs, mate," he said, making his way over to James, who turned his head away at once. "That's going to change. We're going to make that change."

"Remus doesn't have to change anything, though," muttered James bitterly, staring wide-eyed at the opposite wall. "Maybe we should change the plan, Padfoot. Make a Remus disguise and put me in it."

"Don't be stupid," Sirius said sharply. "The only reason Lily said yes to him was because Remus, unlike you, doesn't have a track record of Being A Twat. She barely _knows _him." He side-stepped neatly into James's line of vision, and ducked his head until his eyes were locking with his best friend's. "You're over-reacting, mate. Cut it out."

"I'm only going with her as a friend," Remus said meekly from behind them. He gave a weak laugh. "Trust me, James. She made it quite clear she wasn't interested in _that _way."

James was silent for a long moment as he appeared to mull over Remus's words. Then he turned and strode into the bathroom without a word, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Remus looked helplessly at Sirius. "What more could I say?" he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. His hands came up and ran tiredly through his spiky brown hair. Sirius snorted and turned his back on him, walking to the window and peering out into the grounds.

"Don't worry about it, Moony," he said casually, absently scanning the area below him for any familiar faces. "He doesn't mean it. He's just infected with Lilyitis." He grimaced slightly at the thought. "Trust me, the sooner we get the two of them together, the better. Let's just hope James doesn't go crazy with waiting before then."

0o0

I'm back! And with a new chapter, nonetheless. Hope you enjoyed it, and please review!

Love and peace xxx


	6. Wheels in Motion Part 1

"What the hell is Moony _doing_?"

Sirius didn't look up from the cards he was dealing out onto the table. "Hmm?" he muttered vaguely, concentrating on peeling two Kings apart that appeared to be stuck together with – well, to be honest, he didn't really didn't want to know.

"Sirius!"

He raised his eyebrows at James' agitated face, then looked over in the direction he was gesturing towards. Remus stood awkwardly in the centre of the common room, fiddling nervously with a cloak button and wearing an expression that suggested he was having major digestive issues.

Sirius held back a snort of laughter. "What? He looks fine." Idly, he started to shuffle the cards, grimacing in disgust as some gooey substance stringed out from them.

"_Fine?_He looks like he just shat himself!" James had all four fingers in his mouth. "She's going to suspect something."

"No, she won't," Sirius said calmly.

"She will!" James's voice was mounting with hysteria. "You don't know her like I do – she's smart – mate, she'll take one look at his face and know!" He paused for breath, then stood up. "I'm going over there."

"_What?_" In an instant, Sirius had dropped his cards and sprang to his feet. "No you fucking well won't!"

James turned a desperate, yet determined face toward him. "I'm calling it off, Padfoot. This won't work - it was never going to work – the whole thing's stupid – I'm going over there – get OFF of – "

But in the middle of throwing Sirius' hand from his shoulder, James' voice faltered and died. His face suddenly slackened, and his eyes were fixed, mesmerised, on a point over Sirius's shoulder. Sensing what was coming next, Sirius swore violently under his breath and shoved James in the chest, making him crumple heavily back into his chair, then hastily sat back down himself. Just as Lily came down the final step of the girl's staircase.

"Stop staring!" he hissed at James, but that was as good as telling a cow not to eat grass. His friend's eyes had become as large and glazed as marbles as he watched Lily stride past them and smile at Remus, who looked as though someone had walloped him round the head with a frying pan. She said something to him. He laughed far too loudly. Then, as though feeling eyes burning into the back of her head, she glanced around.

Too late, Sirius averted his eyes. She'd seen him. And – shit – she was heading this way. Out of the corner of his mouth he hissed violently, "Do nothing, say nothing, alright?" before turning his attention to the goo covered cards and fixing an expression of intense concentration on his face.

Remus and Lily stopped before their table. Deliberately keeping his eyes on an upside-down Jack, Sirius said in a bored voice, "And what can we do for you, Lilykins?"

She ignored him. "What are you staring at, Potter?"

Quick as a flash, Sirius spoke up. "I don't think he's quite sure. Gorgeous girls don't come labelled."

Her eyes snapped onto him. "And since when could Potter not speak for himself?"

Seeing James open his mouth indignantly, Sirius stamped hard on his foot and, pretending not to notice the shocked gasp of pain, smiled sweetly up at her. "Since he became too overcome with your beauty to talk?"

She rolled her eyes, then switched her gaze back to James, who was attempting to manfully handle the agony of his crushed toes, although judging by his watery eyes, he wasn't doing very well. Suspicion flashed across her features.

"What are you playing, Black?" she asked innocently. A little too innocently. Sirius quirked a grin, despite his alarm. James was right. Lily was definitely smart.

Luckily for them, he was smarter.

"Pairs," he replied casually.

Lily lowered her gaze to the table, her eyes taking in the haphazardly flung cards, some facing up, some down, some impressively managing to stand on their edge, some determinedly sticking together, some bent and sticking at interesting angles, some nearly ripped in half…and all covered in the same revoltingly sticky glop.

"Pairs," she repeated flatly.

"Yep." He smiled broadly. "I'm winning."

Her eyebrows were so high they were practically floating above her head. However, Lily seemed to accept this as just another 'Marauder' thing. Much to Sirius's immense relief, she turned away at last. "Right. Have fun then."

"No doubt about that," muttered Sirius, flashing a quick thumbs up at Remus before he followed Lily out the portrait hole, and they both vanished from sight.

Letting out a breath he hadn't been aware he had been holding, Sirius turned to James. "That went well."

James' face was the picture of misery. "She hates me."

"Yes," agreed Sirius. "She does." Happily, he picked up a card without thinking, then threw it back down with a cry of disgust. "For shit's sake, where the hell did you find these things, the sewer?"

"Under your bed."

"Peter's bed?"

"No, your bed."

"Peter must have put them there."

James didn't laugh. "So what do we do now, then?"

Sirius sighed heavily. "Now we wait."

"_Wait?!"_James looked as though Sirius had just told him to gouge out his own eye. "What – we just sit here?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's going to be a while before they get to the pub, mate, what d'you suggest we do?"

James's eyes flashed in a frankly Lily-like way. "Come on," he said, hauling Sirius to his feet. "This might be your plan, Padfoot, but I am not going to sit around here and wait for something to go wrong."

0o0

Remus knew he shouldn't be enjoying himself.

He knew he should be concentrating on The Plan. He knew he should also be reflecting on how bad he felt for being part of The Plan, and how entirely un-Prefect-like it was of him. Indeed, when he'd pictured his 'date' with Lily Evans, that was exactly how he'd imagined he would feel: awkward, more than a little pissed off, and, naturally, guilty.

There was just one factor he'd left out in his calculations.

Lily Evans had a sense of humour.

Sure, she was vivacious and chatty and intelligent, but he already knew that. What Remus hadn't counted on was his reluctant date having a quirky, off-the-wall, veering toward the dry, unbearably sarcastic sense of humour.

And to be perfectly honest, he was having the time of his life.

But Merlin, he wished whole-heartedly that he wasn't part of The Plan.

"Where shall we go?" said his witty, sarcastic, beautiful date. She was striding along beside him with her clear green eyes looking up at the fresh summer sky. She was wearing a button-up shirt and a long, flowing skirt that rippled slightly behind her. Remus had to concede it – she really was very pretty. He could quite see why James was so infatuated with her. Unexpectedly, he felt his heart speed up slightly.

"Um," he said cleverly, looking around for inspiration. "Where you – er – where would you like to go?"

She looked thoughtful, then beamed and said, "Rosie's."

Remus snorted without thinking. "What's that, a florist?"

"Actually," said Lily airily, "It's my favourite shop." She smiled, and Remus felt his stomach do a backflip. "It's not as poncey as it sounds. In fact, I think you'll like it."

Wondering why his stomach had decided to start performing gymnastics and desperately trying to remind himself that he was with the love of his best friend's life, Remus let her lead the way across the street.

0o0

"This is so stupid."

Sirius was not happy with the way things were going.

When he'd pictured this in his head, he and James had sat in the common room merrily playing cards for a few hours before making their way to the pub to meet up with Peter.

One vital factor he had left out in his calculations however, was that his reluctant team mate was stupid.

Absolutely, completely, utterly, 100 stupid.

Where they_actually _were was crouched in some bushes.

He. Sirius Black. Hunkered in a bush with James 'I've gone off the rails' Potter.

Not happy at all.

"This is stupid," he repeated, when aforementioned derailed person ignored him.

"Sirius, this entire plan is stupid."

Sirius took offence at that. "James, let me describe the situation for you." He paused. "WE'RE SITTING IN A BLOODY BUSH."

Two loud screams sounded just beyond the leaves as two girls dropped their shopping and ran as fast as they could from what must have appeared to be a possessed bush. Grey eyes met hazel, and both occupants of the bush simultaneously started sniggering.

"Alright," admitted James, smothering his grin. "I know it's weird, OK? But this is the only way we can keep an eye on them without them seeing us!"

"Oh…" Sirius nodded understandingly. "Invisibility cloak in the wash, is it?"

Silence was all that came back to him. James was peering through the leaves at the shop Lily and Remus had disappeared into moments beforehand. "Can't see them," he muttered vaguely.

Sirius sighed. This had gone far enough. "James, come on. Let's go to the pub."

"No."

"Drinks on me?"

"I'm OK."

Sirius clenched his hair in frustration. "Right. That's it." He stood up, or as far as the canopy of bush branches and leaves could let him stand up, and fought his way determinedly out of the bush, yelping in pain as twigs raked across his face and ripped out what felt like entire clumps of hair. Finally out in the open, he straightened up, massaged his scalp, swore a few times, and turned back to the bush. "If you don't get out right now, I'm going to yell for the entire street to hear that James Potter is perving on Lily Evans from a bush."

There was a pause. Then – "You wouldn't."

The temptation was too great. "Oh, _wouldn't _ I?" Sirius set his feet apart and filled his lungs with air. "HEY, EVERYONE! COME AND HAVE A LOOK AT THIS! JAMES POTTER IS - "

He'd never seen anyone shoot out of a bush so quickly. The next thing he knew, James was standing next to him with leaves in his hair and a murderous glint in his eye. Sirius dodged the punch.

"James, be nice. I was merely trying to help you realise that going to the pub would be a _much_ better alternative to pretending to be Bush Boys for three hours."

James stared at him, his chest heaving up and down. He couldn't argue with that, but bloody hell, how he wanted to. Finally, with a snarl, he turned and strode away from him, saying moodily over his shoulder, "Drinks are on you then."

"Naturally," muttered Sirius, before slouching off in his friend's wake.

00o00o00o00o00o00

Well.

Has it been an extremely long time since I last updated this, or has it been an EXTREMELY long time?

But I'm back. And no-one probably cares because it's been such a long time...but, to whoever read this chapter, I hope you enjoyed. I know it's short. But, I PROMISE the next chapter will be along very soon. It's already written, so it really shouldn't take too long.

I'd like to say a MASSIVE thank you to MilyMB. tosses roses Without your review, I would never have got my notebook out and started writing this chapter. I don't know if you're still reading...but thanks anyway. You rock!

Right, with that said, I'm off.

Love and peace xxxx


	7. Wheels in Motion Part 2

So here they were. Once again. In their favourite haunt. Exactly where they were supposed to be, i.e.: not in a bush. This was a good thing. Sirius grinned and stretched back in his seat, draping his arms along the sides of the booth and sprawling his legs out; consequently taking up all the room under the table.

It was a mark of how nervous James was that he didn't kick him, or snap something along the lines of "get your legs off me you arse," which would have been a typical James response to any Sirius invasion of personal space. As it was, he didn't even appear to notice that Sirius was suddenly taking enormous liberties leg-space wise. His face was a sickly, sweaty pale – he studied the bottom of his shot glass with the sorrowful intensity of a man contemplating suicide. Deciding to test out this new, interestingly vacant mood of James, Sirius slung both of his feet onto his lap.

"Fuck _off, _you twat!"

It appeared that James wasn't _that _vacant. Sirius quirked a corner of his mouth. "What's the matter, Prongs? Don't you…" He widened his eyes appealingly. "…love me?"

"No." James knocked back the contents of his shot glass.

"He does really," Sirius confided in Peter.

"I don't," James said through gritted teeth.

"You do."

"I don't. I never have done. I never will. You're a bastard."

"What if I gave you more fire-whiskey?"

A pause. "Maybe."

Sirius grinned widely. "That's the truth of it!" he said encouragingly, pulling an unlabelled bottle out of his pocket and, after a long glance at the bar, topped up all three shot glasses on the table.

"I don't like fire-whiskey," mumbled Peter, who was also looking a bit green around the gills, although he sipped reluctantly at it after a look from Sirius. The contents of James' glass had already vanished – not to be outdone, Sirius immediately followed suit.

"Right," said Sirius, after the burning had cooled down to a fairly tolerable level in his throat. "Time for you to make yourself scarce, Prongsie."

James reacted as though he'd shoved a burning poker in his eye – he sat upright with all the ferocity of someone who had just been electrified. "Why?! Do you think she'll be coming in soon?"

"Well," Sirius checked his watch, "Yeah. Around now."

James closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, however, he looked quite his old self. "OK," he said evenly, "But I want the firewhiskey."

Sirius gave him a narrow look. "Prongs, if you mess this up because you're off your head - "

"Look, I can handle my drink as well as you can." James' smile was somewhat fixed. "Come on, I won't over do it. I just need a bit of Dutch courage, you know?"

Against his better judgement, Sirius handed the bottle over. James nodded his thanks – it seemed his tongue had stopped working – before tucking it under his robes and sweeping away from the table without a second word and only a slight stagger to his walk. Concern creased Sirius' brow momentarily, but he decided to shrug it off. He'd seen James drink more than that before a Quidditch match in the past and still manage to act sober.

Of course, he had flown into the goal post soon after taking off on that particular occasion. But Sirius didn't like to think about that.

Peter took another sip from his shot glass, his eyes wide and pensive. "This is going to work, isn't it?" he said tentatively. Quailing slightly as Sirius glared at him, he nonetheless pressed on. "It's just that James seems…"

"He's fine," interrupted Sirius, annoyed. "Just a bit nervous, is all."

Five minutes or so passed by as the two of them sat absorbed in their own thoughts. A crowd of Slytherins walked past the window behind them, the white-blond head of Lucius Malfoy standing out among them. But beside him was a shorter, dark haired boy, and Sirius recognised the proud, upright walk instantly. He frowned, and followed them with his eyes for a moment, then looked abruptly away.

"Sirius…"

Sirius grunted to show he was listening.

"You know when you said we had to – to 'come on to Lily'?"

"Yeah."

"Um…what…" Peter fiddled with his glass. "Ah, what, exactly, did you mean?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You know. Flirt with her."

Peter squirmed. A deep blush was creeping up around his neck and warming his ears. "But – Merlin, Padfoot, you know I'm not good with – with – _that _type of thing."

"Look." Sirius turned himself around so that he was facing Peter directly. "All we need to do here is make her feel uncomfortable. We are not trying to make her swoon at our feet. In fact, we're aiming for the exact opposite. So when she is on the verge of hitting us, _James _can come over and warn us off, apologise to Lily for our behaviour, and thus make her fall madly in love with him." He paused thoughtfully. "Or just make her stop hating him, either way." He took in Peter's flustered features. "Just make an innuendo or something," he said lightly. "Alright?"

Peter's face was blank. "Innuendo?"

"Yeah…you know!" Sirius looked around for inspiration. "Say she's got a straw in her drink, for example. You could say, 'hey, Lily, you can suck on _my _straw any time!'"

Peter choked on his sip of whiskey. "What if she doesn't have a straw?"

"Well then, say she has a cherry on her glass. A simple 'hey, Lily, would you mind if I nibbled on your cherry?' would suffice."

Peter's face was glazed with a mixture of horror and fascination. "What if there isn't any cherry?"

"Then, for Merlin's sake, a simple 'kiss me, beautiful' will do it. Coming from you, it's enough to send any girl running."

Peter looked awed. "How do you come _up _with these lines?"

Sirius shrugged. "Oh you know. I'm just a genius."

Unexpectedly, Peter tossed back the rest of the whiskey from his almost-full glass. "Teach me," he croaked, after he'd recovered from a severe bout of coughing.

"Excuse me?"

"Teach me how you do it!" Peter flung his arm out in a rather over-dramatic gesture, and Sirius suddenly recalled with regret what a lightweight Peter was. "How you get all the girls, mate! Teach me!"

"Um," Sirius edged back slightly along the seat. "Another time, maybe."

Peter, however, was much more persistent when he was somewhat tipsy. "No!" he snapped, banging his shot glass on the table. "Teach me _now!_"

It was very much to Sirius' relief that the pub door slammed open at that moment, and Remus and Lily came striding in. His relief rapidly turned to surprise as he realised that both were laughing hysterically over something – Lily was actually holding onto Remus' arm for support – and Remus certainly wasn't doing anything to indicate he wanted her to let go.

"Looks like they're having a nice time," remarked Peter, a trifle too loudly for Sirius' comfort. Luckily, Lily did not hear, although Sirius knew instantly that Remus had. As though remembering himself, Sirius observed him straighten up slightly, and gently remove Lily's hand from his arm. She looked slightly put out by this gesture – a little too put-out. Sirius narrowed his eyes at the back of Remus' head.

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink," he just about heard Remus say, and the two of them made their way to the bar, he now carefully keeping his distance from Lily as though she had something catching.

"Soon, Pete," muttered Sirius out the corner of his mouth, watching as Remus left Lily sitting at a booth while he went to order their drinks. "You ready?"

"What?" said Peter, who hadn't been paying any attention and was now boggling at a group of girls with short skirts at the bar. "I can't hear you."

Sirius didn't bother responding – his eyes were fixed on Remus carefully carrying two Butterbeers back to their booth. Timing was everything. He waited until the drinks had been set down on the table and Remus had slid himself along the seat until he was within a respectable distance of Lily. Then he stood up.

"Let's go," he said briskly.

"Hey, ho," replied Peter absurdly, and giggled to himself. However, he heaved himself to his feet and looked ready to go, which was all he was worried about. Hoping that James was watching and adopting a slight sway to his walk that was not entirely acting, Sirius set off across the room.

He slid into the booth in one smooth, practised movement, taking care to bang his leg on the table on the way in order to make their drinks slop. "Alright, Moony?" he grinned, as Peter flung himself next to Remus. "'Allo, Lilykins," he added wolfishly, budging up so that their legs touched.

She (_excellent) _looked pissed, and pointedly shifted away from him – closer to Remus. "Hello, Black," she said coldly. "What do you want?"

"So many things, darling, so little time." He smirked at her, and let his eyes flicker almost imperceptibly to her chest. The effect was wasted, however, as she was refusing to look at him – her eyes were focused firmly on her drink; which, much to Sirius' amusement, contained both a straw _and _a cherry. Peter, he realised, had also noticed this. Smirking, Sirius settled back and prepared to enjoy the show.

Peter had a bead of sweat starting in his hairline; his lips mouthed wordlessly as, right on cue, Lily picked up her drink and pursed her lips about the straw. For a moment, it seemed that Peter would explode with the indecision of which line to say – but finally, he spoke.

"Hey, L-Lily," he stuttered, and Lily raised her eyebrows inquiringly at him. Peter couldn't bring himself to meet her eye. "Y-you can nibble on _my _cherry any time!"

It was a mark of how entirely drunk Peter was that he didn't realise what he had said straight away – on the contrary, he looked rather triumphant, as though he'd just delivered a world class speech. Lily froze in mid-swallow, and consequently, started choking.

"_What did you just say to me?_" she demanded fiercely, after Sirius had helpfully banged her on the back several times. "And you can stop rubbing my back now," she snarled at Sirius, who merely smiled back and trailed his hand off her skin. Visibly shuddering, Lily plonked her drink back on the table and glared at Peter, who looked as though he wanted to crawl under the table and die.

"Please don't try to be suggestive, Pettigrew," she said acidly. "It doesn't suit you at all."

"Ah now," slurred Sirius instantly, "Tha's not very nice. Peter finds you very 'tractive, don't you, Pete?"

Lily looked like she was on the verge of vomiting. Sirius used the opportunity to shift closer to her. She was now sandwiched between him and Remus, and the severe invasion of personal space was starting to get to her.

"Have you been drinking?" she snapped at Sirius, recoiling as he started to play with a strand of her hair. "I could have you thrown out for that, Black!" Her voice was mounting in pitch.

Sirius laughed in her face. She flinched in disgust as she no doubt smelt the whiskey on his breath. "We've been thrown out from here a hundred times before, Evans, it's no big deal."

"I meant from _Hogwarts_," she snarled. She was really riled now – Sirius knew that the only thing stopping her from getting up and walking away was the fact that she was surrounded on all sides – with no escape. Time to move in for the kill. Bracing himself for the inevitable slap around the face and trying to ignore the guilt in his stomach, Sirius moved closer – and slid his hand onto her thigh.

"You wouldn't do that t'me, would you?" he slurred meaningfully in her ear.

She breathed in sharply through her nose, and when she turned to him, her eyes were like two green chips of ice. "Get your hands OFF of me!"

"OY!" And smoothly, beautifully, perfectly right on cue James appeared in all his dazzling glory in front of their table. Sirius whipped his hand away from Lily's leg, observing with glee the look of intense relief on her face as she looked up to see her rescuer.

His heart plummeted to his toes. Because he knew from one glance that James was not slightly tipsy.

He was absolutely, completely, utterly _legless. _

_James, _Sirius prayed in his head. _Don't say anything stupid – just stick to the plan, just tell me and Peter to get lost, tell us we've drunk too much, just like in rehearsals James – PLEASE don't say anything stupid – _

"Evansh!" James slurred out, swaying where he stood, the unlabelled bottle painfully conspicuous under his robes. He beamed desperately at her. "I love you so much Evans, pleashe go out wi' me!"

…_just like that. _

That, it appeared, was the last straw for Lily. She stood up so abruptly the table rocked violently and would have fallen over had Peter not grabbed it. Without any preamble, she hurled her drink straight into James' face.

"Does that answer your fucking question?" she half-screamed at him, causing a good half of the pub to turn around in interest. "Get out of my way!" she shouted at Sirius, who wasted no time in scrambling out of the booth to stand aside for her. Before she left, she picked up the cherry from the floor and threw it at Peter. "Nibble on it all you want," she snarled, before shoving past James on her way out the building.

The door banged closed. The silence that had fallen over the majority of the pub was deafening. All eyes were on them. And James stood there with such an expression of complete and total miserable shock on his face that Sirius suddenly felt real anger start to pound in his head. It wasn't so much that James had fucked up – it wasn't that his carefully laid plan had come to bits before his eyes – it was the fact that, after all that, James had the indecency to stand there and look genuinely surprised about the fact that Lily had thrown her drink in his face.

"You fucking moron," Sirius said simply, before turning around and walking off to the other end of the pub. He knew from experience that the landlord would throw them out in about thirty seconds and for once, he was in no mood to be thrown out with them. The night was still young and, frankly, Sirius had no intention of letting his stupid, stupid _arse_ of a best friend ruin it for him.

0o0

Ah, what a surprise, Sirius' plan failed spectacuarly! I hope you all enjoyed reading, my lovely tiny collection of readers! I certainly loved writing it. Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed last time, you actually made my day!

Let me know what you think of this chapter, would you? -appealing eyes-

Love and peace xxx


	8. Baby, You've Been Had

_He didn't quite know why his stomach was churning with nerves as he approached his brother's bedroom door. It was the first time in years that he had walked into Reggie's bedroom through this particular door – generally, he and his brother had always barged into each others rooms on a regular basis through the door in their conjoining wall. But that, somehow, just didn't seem right now. Siri laid his hand on the door handle, hesitated, then decided to knock instead. His knuckles made an empty, hollow sound against the wood._

_Silence was all that came back to him. He shifted back, glancing back down the hallway that he hadn't stood in for nearly a year now. It looked so darkly strange after the world of Hogwarts that burst with colour and life. He stared at the mounted heads of the house elves absently, wondering for the first time why the hell they were there. _

_There was still no reply from the room within. Siri rapped on the wood again, then, impatient for a response, pushed the door open. _

_His brother lounged on the bed, reading a book. He didn't look up. _

_Siri stared at him, momentarily thrown. Eventually, he said, "Why didn't you say anything when I knocked?"_

_Reggie flicked over a page, and said nothing. _

"_May I come in?"_

_Still there was no response. His brother's face was set in a calm neutral, as though he simply hadn't noticed Siri standing in the doorway. His eyes, however, were not moving across the page, and the fingers that gripped the spine were white with tension. _

_Frowning, Siri leaned against the doorframe. Cold anger was radiating from his brother's pale, unruffled form. It scared him somewhat. _

"_Reggie?" he said softly. _

_Reggie's head jerked, but his eyes remained determinedly on his book. "My name," he said, his voice quietly composed, "is Regulas."_

_Siri flinched. "Since when?" he snapped harshly, automatically switching to aggression in an effort to cover his shock. _

_There was a moment of silence. Then Reggie hurled the book against the wall, and Siri started in shock. He stood up and for the first time, stared Siri directly in the eye._

"_I waited for you," he said, perfectly calmly. _

"_What?" Siri frowned at him. His brother's face was bloodless, and strangely adult for a nine year old. His eyes were like two black pebbles, staring with enough intensity to fill his brother's head. _

"_I waited for you," Reggie repeated. "At Christmas time. I sat on your bed and waited."_

"_I'm back now!" snapped Siri over him. "Alright? I'm back!" _

_His brother continued in the same calm, indifferent voice. "And when I asked Mother when you were coming home…she said you were never coming back." His face contorted as he desperately fought back tears. "She said you'd forgotten me."_

_Siri flinched. _

_His brother looked away. "You broke your promise." His face crumpled. His chest heaved silently up and down as he physically held the sobs back – and Siri could hardly stand it – instinctively he crossed into the room and made to hug him – _

_Reggie threw his hands off him. "Don't TOUCH me! You filthy blood traitor!"_

_Siri froze. His arms slumped back to his sides, and he took an abrupt step backwards. Reggie stood sobbing painfully quietly in the middle of his room. For a moment he looked six years old again, and he was crying over a skinned knee and all Siri had to do was make a joke out of it and Reggie would hit him and try to carry on crying but wouldn't be able to stop laughing, and he would throw something at him and Siri would dodge it and after a full scale war had broken out, everything would be alright again._

_But all speech had dried up on Siri's tongue and those days were over. They could never go back to them now. _

_0o0_

"Sirius?"

"Mmm."

"Are you awake?"

"Mm."

"Say that again?"

"Mm."

"Is that a yes 'mm' or a no 'mm'?"

"Mm."

A sigh. Footsteps. Unnaturally close footsteps. He could feel them in his head – every vibration – _fuck _that was hurting now he thought about it, argh, argh, arrrrrrrragh the PAIN…

Sirius opened his eyes.

The first thing that leapt to attention was the fact that he was lying on the floor.

That was interesting.

"…just leave him," came Peter's voice from high, high above.

"Wormtail, he's on the floor in front of the portrait. People will fall over him."

"Well, _I'm_ not carrying him."

"I wasn't going to suggest that."

"_You're_ going to carry him?"

"Do the words _Wingardium Leviosa _mean anything to you, Peter?"

Sirius' muscles ground into life. "Don't," he muttered through gritted teeth as he hauled himself to his knees, "Even. Think. About. It."

"Oh, so you _are _awake." Remus' voice was unamused as Sirius crawled blindly across the floor in the hopeful direction of a sofa. "Thought you were dead for a moment."

"Am I not?" mumbled Sirius, as he collapsed into an awkward sitting position against the sofa and cradled his head in his hands. God, he was just hurting an unnecessary amount. Tentatively, he probed the murky regions of his Memories from Last Night, and, to his disquiet, found them almost entirely blank.

"What the hell was I doing last night?" he asked, pronouncing each word gingerly so as to provide minimum increase to his headache.

He could almost feel Remus and Peter exchange looks. "Um…don't you remember?" Peter's voice came apprehensively. Sirius felt his heart plummet. Judging by that tone, it could not have been anything good. He didn't say anything. He only rested his head on his knees, kept his eyes closed, and braced himself for the worst.

Moony started it off. "You got drunk," he said sternly, although not entirely unsympathetically. "Really drunk."

"Hammered," chipped in Peter helpfully.

"Legless."

"Pissed."

"One hundred percent intoxicated."

"Alright!" snapped Sirius, and winced. "What happened?" he added in a softer voice.

"You made friends with some seventh year girls," Remus continued. "Some Hufflepuffs, I think. They were the ones buying you all the drinks, so to be fair, they should have a share of the blame in this as well…"

"You got off with at least three of them!" added Peter.

"Two, actually," corrected Remus. "They weren't very happy with each other when one of them saw the other one kissing you. Apparently, both were convinced you were madly in love with them…"

His voice trailed off. An ominous silence hung in the air. Despite himself, Sirius looked up to stare impatiently at his friend's faces, both of whom were gazing at him with barely concealed grins on their faces.

"_And?_"

"Well," said Remus, walking over to perch himself on the arm of an armchair. "Then they kind of…had a massive cat fight over you."

"It was appalling behaviour," Peter said through his smirk.

"Both roaring drunk, of course."

"Rolling around yanking at each others hair, scratching each other's eyes out…"

"And it kind of kicked off a chain reaction," Remus concluded, his eyes – there was no denying it – sparkling with amusement as he surveyed Sirius's reaction.

Sirius stared at him in silence. "What d'you mean?" he said hoarsely.

Remus shrugged. "You know how violent those fifth years are. They were all there. One minute we were all just standing there watching these two girls attempt to murder one another, next thing you know everyone's engaged in a good old fashioned bar-brawl."

"The Three Broomsticks has been absolutely trashed," Peter said solemnly. "Five people are in the Hospital Wing."

Sirius jerked his head around to look at him, gaping. "Five people! Oh my fucking Merlin!" He ran his fingers back through his hair, looking from Remus to Peter in horror. "Are they OK?"

"Oh, they're fine," shrugged Remus, who was, much to Sirius's bewilderment, grinning broadly. "None of them are gullible like you."

There was one, long moment of silence in which Sirius stared at Remus.

Eventually, he said, "I swear, Moony, when I am feeling human again I am going jinx you so hard you won't feel like yourself for a month."

Peter cracked up. Remus joined in, and let himself fall backwards into the seat of the armchair. "Come on, Padfoot," he grinned. "You would have done the same thing if one of us had admitted to not remembering anything from the night before."

"I wouldn't have made out you'd been the cause of the destruction of The Three Broomsticks, for fuck's sake," Sirius growled, letting his head sink back to his knees. "So may I have a version of what happened last night that _isn't _full of Hippogriff shit, please?"

"Ah, you're no fun."

"Remus, I am thinking _very_ hard about that jinx I'm going to place on you."

"Alright, alright." Remus let out a loud sigh. "How quick do you want it?"

Sirius' head gave a painful throb. "Quickly as possible, please."

"Okay." Remus took a deep breath. "You – drunk, James – drunk, you and James – big, drunken row in pub, landlord in The Broomsticks – bans you both for life."

Sirius kept his head on his knees. "Oh."

Now that his head wasn't swimming with images of the entire Hogsmeade pub being smashed to pieces, Remus' words were bringing back foggy memories of having some sort of confrontation with James. He squeezed his eyes closed, and saw a vague picture of his mate yelling at him, followed closely by the an uncomfortably close view of the landlord's veiny red visage as he threw them physically from the pub…he and James stumbling out into the night, swearing at one another and at the building they had exited…and then, bizarrely, the memory of stumbling back to the castle leaning on each other's shoulders and singing tunelessly at the stars.

"Me and James walked home together?" he said suddenly.

"Yeah."

"Where is he now, then?"

"Alright, Padfoot?" James muttered directly behind his head from the sofa, and Sirius screamed aloud.

0o0

Two Hangover Potions, a few badly aimed jinxes and a couple of forced forkfuls of breakfast later, and Sirius, shielding his eyes against the unnaturally bright sunlight in the Great Hall, turned to the downcast faces of his fellow Marauders.

"This," he said frankly, "Is shit."

"Tell me about it," muttered James, who had automatically loaded his plate with sausages and hadn't touched any of them. He had, as Sirius well knew, been far too busy gazing at Lily from the corner of his eye to eat, while she steadily ignored him from the other end of the table.

"Sirius, you should apologise to her," said Remus briskly, as he shook cereal into a bowl.

"Yeah," replied Sirius flippantly. "Maybe I should."

"And are you going to?"

"You want an honest answer?"

Remus sighed. "Probably not."

"Then yes, yes I am. I am, in fact, going to go on bended knee and beg for forgiveness." He picked up his fork, twirled it impressively with his fingers, then made a quick jab for one of James' sausages.

"No, I should be the one doing that," James said miserably, slamming his knife between the prongs of Sirius' fork as it came within inches of the sausage. "Maybe then she wouldn't hate me quite so much."

"It's alright," Sirius said, knocking James' knife out the way with his fork and making an effort to snatch a sausage by hand. "Seeing as Plan A failed, we move onto Plan B."

"Which is what?" James snorted, catching Sirius' wrist effortlessly and twisting it brutally up into the air. "Go get drunk again and hope for the best?"

"You underestimate me, Prongs," Sirius grunted through the pain of his wrist balancing on the verge of dislocation. "My plan is far simpler, and – aragh - impressive, and flawless-ish, and – uhrgh – hey, Lily's looking at you!"

"What?" James snapped his head around so quickly it looked painful and Sirius snatched his wrist back, grabbing a sausage from the plate along the way.

"Made you look," he said smugly, sinking his teeth into it and regretting it slightly when he remembered he hated sausages.

James resentfully turned back to the table. "Alright, hit me with it."

Obligingly, Remus threw a piece of bacon at him.

"My plan," Sirius said, after he had won the resultant miniature food fight, "Is for _you_ to go apologise to her, Jamesie-boy."

"What kind of a crap plan - ?"

"For all of us."

There was a moment of contemplative silence.

"That could work," said Remus thoughtfully.

"'Could'?" Sirius snorted. "Please. She'll be all over you by next week, mate," he added to James. "Mark my words."

He didn't miss the tiny frown that etched momentarily on Remus' forehead at those words.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

And it's another installment of Sirius for your enjoyment!

Love and peace xxx


	9. A Lot Like Hate

_They all stood together on Platform Nine and Three Quarters. The September sunshine was pleasantly warm on Sirius' face, and he gripped the luggage trolley handle with sweaty hands, running his tongue along his back teeth and staring at the Hogwarts Express with unseeing eyes. It was there. There, but so far away. Escape. _

"_Good bye, Regulas," said their Mother, bending stiffly to kiss her eleven year old son on the cheek. "Make us proud."_

_For a split second, Regulas' stoical expression vanished and he looked on the verge of tears. He kissed Mother back with a kind of miserable desperation that was almost painful to look at. Sirius turned his head sharply away. _

"_Goodbye then," he muttered sarcastically as Mother straightened up and swept away towards the gateway without a single glance in his direction. "I'll write every day."_

_Regulas stood awkwardly on his own, hands hanging limply by his sides, looking small and out of place in his (undoubtedly itchy) brand new school uniform. Sirius raised a contemptuous eyebrow at him. _

"_Hope you don't expect me to give you a kiss as well."_

_Regulas immediately straightened up, as though the taunt had been their Mother's knuckles digging into his back. "I'd rather die," he said primly, and reached for his suitcase. Sirius leant on the trolley and watched him struggle with its hefty weight. _

"_Bye then," he said casually, smirking a little as Regulas winced ever so slightly as he dropped it on his toe. "Do everything I wouldn't do. Make me unproud. Go be the better son."_

_Regulas flipped his hair out of his eyes. "Oh don't worry," he sneered. "I intend to."_

_Sirius watched him go, observing with an impassive face as his brother went about the mammoth task of attempting to lift his suitcase into the train on his own. A sudden memory went flipping through his head_

_("_Then we'll be at Hogwarts together._")_

_but he shook it away before it could have any real effect on him. Turning away from his brother, Sirius began to shove the trolley towards the other end of the platform, where he had just caught sight of James having his first row of the year with Lily Evans…_

0o0

There was a fine, steamy drizzle of rain that accompanied an uncomfortably muggy atmosphere as they stepped out into the courtyard after breakfast. It was the kind of rain that looked entirely unimpressive when you glanced at it through the window, but soaked you within seconds of actually stepping out in it. Sirius' hair was plastered to his face before long – he shook wet strings of it out of his eyes as he felt in his robes for the crumpled pack of cigarettes he knew were in there somewhere.

"McGonagal will have you for that," Remus said mildly, as Sirius paused under an archway to light up.

"'Course she won't," he said with a grin. "She adores me, does old Minnie."

James leant on the wall, lifting his face to the sky with his eyes closed. His glasses had fogged so much they looked like two frosted rectangles of glass sitting on his nose, and after a moment he pulled them off with an irritated sigh.

"You expect me to go apologise to Lily in these?" he growled, as he gathered up a fistful of his shirt to wipe them clean. "I'll look like a right prat."

"I think they make you look rather endearing, actually," remarked Sirius, drawing on his cigarette.

"Oh yes, I'll look _very _endearing when I fall over her because I can't see a bloody thing."

Silently, Remus leant over, tapped the glasses on each lens and muttered, "Impervius."

There was a pause in which James stared at his now bone-dry glasses. Then he shrugged and slid them back on his face.

"Thanks, Moony."

"No problem."

"Charming though this is," said Sirius, running a hand back through his soaking hair, "Lily's over there."

They all looked up. Lily was indeed standing with a knot of her friends in an archway on the opposite side of the courtyard. She was leaning on the stone wall, looking exceptionally pretty with her long hair tied up and damp tendrils escaping down the back of her neck. She was laughing easily about something and, much to Sirius' relief, hadn't even noticed them.

"Go on, then," he said to James, who was staring at her and unconsciously rumpling his hair.

He licked his lips. "What do I say?" he asked, somewhat plaintively.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Merlin," he snapped, "How hard is it?"

"Bloody hard, actually," replied James coolly. "She's with her friends."

"For crying out loud. They're not going to stone you."

"Want to bet?"

"Absolutely!" snorted Sirius. "I bet a thousand galleons that they don't start pelting you with stones as soon as look at you. Deal?"

Silence was all that came back to him. James was staring up at the sky with his jaw set. Evidently deciding to take pity on him, Remus spoke up.

"Just go over there, and ask to have a private word with her," he said nicely. "Alright?"

"And for Merlin's sake, _don't _ask her out again," added Sirius warningly. "Or I will actually disembowel you."

James took a deep breath, plucked Sirius's cigarette from his fingers, took a drag, coughed heartily, handed it back, then set off across the courtyard.

"He's walking weirdly," murmured Sirius, eyeing James' walk critically. "Smoke obviously went to his head."

"James always struts like that when he sees Lily," said Remus matter-of-factly.

Sirius snorted. "You call that a strut? That's the uncomfortable walk of someone who has just soiled themselves."

They all watched James' progress across the courtyard in silence. Lily half-glanced in his direction but as soon as she realised who was walking towards her, her face shut up quicker than a slammed window, and her eyes turned to green chips of ice. James faltered momentarily – Sirius held his breath – but he continued, until he stood right before her.

"Wish we could hear what they're saying," said Peter, with a concentrated frown as though he was attempting to read their lips.

"Why?" said Remus dryly. "I can tell you exactly what they're saying." He put on a high, sarcastic imitation of Lily's voice. "What do you want, Potter?" He deepened his voice. "'Hey, Evans, don't you look sexy.'" 'Potter, go shag the Giant Squid.' 'OK, I'll do that, but I'll be imagining it's you.'"

There was a moment of silence. Sirius eyeballed Remus hard, but his friend refused to look at him. Peter, on the other hand, looked totally awed.

"Can you really hear all that?" he said in a mightily impressed voice.

Remus didn't deign to reply. He only kept his eyes fixed on the exchange taking place opposite them, his face expressionless. Sirius stared at him for a while longer, an already formed suspicion deepening in his mind, before turning back to keep an eye on James.

"Hey," said Peter suddenly, "Look who's coming."

Sirius glanced around in the middle of raising his cigarette to his lips.

The sneering profile of Lucius Malfoy stalked into the courtyard, followed immediately by a group of Slytherins. They were all laughing loudly about something, their gazes also collectively fixed on James addressing Lily, who was continuing to doggedly ignore him. And in their midst, head and shoulders below the rest of them, was a face that made Sirius's stomach roll up and clench into an iron fist.

"It's your brother," breathed Peter dramatically, and Sirius clenched his jaw. Remus glanced swiftly in his direction, but kept silent. The atmosphere immediately tensed between the three of them – became almost awkward. Sirius had never kept his feelings about his family a secret.

Regulas was laughing along with the rest of the Slytherins he was with, standing up tall and straight with the dignified posture Mother had engrained into him – attempted to engrain into both of them – since they had been able to walk. Sirius slouched back against the wall, drawing on his cigarette, and waited to see if his brother would notice him. Regulas' dark grey eyes, however, were looking at Malfoy as he told an undoubtedly highly amusing joke, and they all burst into laughter once more.

"You know," said Peter thoughtfully, as he too studied the younger boy, "He does look a lot like you."

"Really?" said Sirius in a deadly calm voice. "Well, Peter, a reason for that _could _be the fact that we come from the same parents."

Remus trod pointedly on Peter's foot. It did nothing to improve Sirius's mood. He drew moodily on his cigarette, and turned his attention back to James, who had not yet succeeded in drawing Lily away from her friends. The look on her face suggested that her patience was wearing exceptionally thin with him, and, as they watched, she pushed him hard in the chest. The Slytherins all creased up laughing, Regulas' higher voice standing out easily in their midst. Sirius' jaw tightened.

"Shit," Remus said quietly beside him, as Malfoy started to make a bee-line for James, and his gang followed obediently along behind him, Regulas attempting to keep to the forefront of the crowd – directly behind Malfoy. The gang drew level with James, who looked around with an expression of pure hate when he realised who was interrupting his apology to Lily.

Malfoy said something, and from the look on James' face, it was nothing pleasant. He shot something back at him, but still attempted to salvage his conversation by placing his back to the Slytherins and opening his mouth to continue talking with Lily. Whatever he had been planning on saying, however, it never got said, as at that moment Regulas was pushed forward, and sent a badly aimed jinx at the back of his head.

Sirius snarled. Hurling his cigarette to the ground and violently throwing off Remus' warning hand on his arm, he strode out from the archway and into the streaming rain, his blood pounding in his ears and barely seeing anything but his brother's sneering, laughing face (_does look a lot like you)_ amongst the crowd of _Malfoy's twisted friends…_

"Alright, Malfoy?" he said loudly as he came within six feet of them. "Having trouble being anything but an unendurable cock, are we?"

Lucius's pale eyes turned distastefully on Sirius, and raised a contemptuous eyebrow at him. Regulas froze at the sound of Sirius' voice, but composed himself rapidly – _just like Mother taught you, Reggie, never show surprise – _and placed himself slightly behind Malfoy to deal with this new contender. His eyes were emotionless as they looked at Sirius, who stood slouched and ready, his lips slightly open in a sneer as he faced them.

"Sirius," called James from the side, "Just leave it, mate."

"Yeah, Sirius," repeated Malfoy softly, tauntingly, stepping closer to him. "Just leave it, mate."

They were within inches of one another. Despite Malfoy being a year older, Sirius was the taller of the two, and he automatically straightened his spine to stare with flat, animal aggression into his enemy's eyes.

"Fuck off out of here," he said viciously, and Malfoy tilted his head back to ring out a peal of delicate laughter.

"'Fuck off'? My, how your vocabulary improves. Soon you'll be grunting caveman-talk with the rest of the Mudblood people you associate with in your primitive house."

James and Lily's heads both snapped around at that.

"You watch your mouth," growled James, stepping forward.

"Why? It's not like I said anything that isn't true, Potter," replied Malfoy smoothly, never once taking his eyes off Sirius.

"Look at me when you're talking to me," spat James, taking another step forward. Out the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Lily draw her wand slowly out of her robes.

Malfoy sniffed a laugh. "I'd like to, Potter, but you happen to have a Mudblood standing beside you, and it offends me to look in your general direction."

Sirius plunged his hand into his robes with a snarl, but before his fingers so much as touched his wand two different spells shot through the air directly at Malfoy's head. They both ducked – Malfoy spun around to scream a curse at whoever had shot at him – one Lily Evans – James leapt in front of her to pull up a Shield Charm, and suddenly the entire gang of Slytherins had pulled out their wands and began firing off a range of jinxes at the two of them. Within seconds Lily's friends were firing back, and the sound of footsteps behind him alerted Sirius to the fact that Remus and Peter were joining the fray.

He hesitated.

Regulas was standing apart from the crowd, and although his wand was in his hand, he made no move to join in with the riot. Sirius took a breath, looked back at James and Lily now standing back to back as they tackled the Slytherins admirably – and ran straight towards his brother.

Regulas looked up, and his eyes widened with fear – he raised his wand instinctively, but Sirius shouted _Expelliarmus _and the wand soared into the air. The look on his brother's face was now pure terror, and he made a wild snatch for his wand on the floor – but Sirius Summoned it before he came anywhere near it. Grabbing a fistful of Regulas' robes, he shoved him brutally forward until they were both in the shelter of an archway.

Regulas tore himself away from Sirius with a snarl. "What the hell are you doing?" he spat viciously, although there was a kind of apprehension in his eyes as he stared up at him.

"So you're going around with Malfoy now?" snapped Sirius. "What the fuck is wrong with you? He's three years older than you, and he's _scum_."

Regulas laughed just like Malfoy did. "What do you care?"

"I don't," said Sirius stiffly. "I just thought I'd warn you what you're getting into. I've heard rumours about what he gets up to. You don't want to be getting into that."

"You," ground out Regulas through clenched teeth, "Do not know me."

Sirius stared at him. "I know you're not a murderer. You're not a _torturer_."

"I will torture whoever deserves it. I'm not a Gryffindor Muggle-lover full of mindless bravery, I'm a _Slytherin._" Regulas raised his chin proudly. "And Sirius, I know far more about what's coming than you do, so don't stand there and act like the superior all-knowing brother, because you are no relation of mine, and you don't know _one fucking thing _about me."

Sirius clenched his jaw and breathed deeply through his nose. An odd ringing noise was screaming in his ears, and the urge to punch Regulas in his sneering face was almost overpowering. Instead, he forced out, "What do you mean, you know far more about what's coming? What's _coming_?"

Regulas' lip curled. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Sirius grabbed his shoulders. "Regulas - !"

He would have gone on. He suddenly felt a huge, desperate need to communicate to his brother how wrong it would be to get involved with Malfoy, to make him realise that he didn't have to go down a certain path just because their parents expected it of him, and that despite everything, he was still his brother and for Merlin's sake, he didn't want to see him dead. Even though he knew full well Regulas would throw it all straight back in his face, even though he knew it would fall on entirely deaf ears and he would be thrown back with more vehemence than before, he _needed _to say it.

He would have said it. However, at that exact moment, the roaring sound of McGonagal's voice boomed out over the courtyard like the word of Merlin, spectacularly and terrifyingly loud.

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?"

As he stared over his shoulder, a hand whipped one of the wands from his lax fingers, and when he turned around, it was only to the sight of his brother's robes disappearing around the corner out of sight.

0o0

This may well be the last chapter of Sirius for a while, as my final A Level exams are almost upon me, and revision is now screaming it's panicky way around my head…but thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, you've been amazing D

Hope you enjoyed!

Love and peace xxx


	10. Trying to be Ruthless

_He walks along the corridor of the Express with James, listening to his mate's wounded post-war-with-Evans talk ("Think she's so damn smart, yeah, thinks she's so bloody perfect, well she'll see, just you wait,") and keeping a watchful eye out for any empty compartments. After walking for what feels like a century, they find one at the end of the train. James slides open the glass door, lugs his suitcase in to abandon it in the middle of the floor, before diving (quite literally) onto one of the seats. _

"_Here we go again," he says cheerily, folding his arms behind his head and gazing out through the window, all thoughts of Evans apparently forgotten. "Third year, mate."_

_Sirius grins as he begins the vaguely painful process of hoisting his suitcase into the luggage holder. "I know," he says eventually, once the case has been firmly secured. "I'm going to go find Remus and Pete. Coming?"_

"_Nah," James says lazily, his eyes already falling closed. "Send them my love."_

_Sirius snorts. "Will do." Leaving James to it, he steps back into the corridor, thoughtfully drawing the door closed behind him. He had almost forgotten how much James liked to sleep – absolutely anywhere and everywhere. He didn't mind being alone, however, and he set off with a jaunty stride that matched the happiness that was glowing in his chest. He was going home at last. He bumps into lots of people who nod and wave to him, several of them inquire as to how his summer was, to which he always responds with the uniform "It was great, thanks" and despite the fact it's a polar opposite to the truth, people seem to believe him. That's OK. That's what he wants. _

_He walks past a compartment which contains Evans and her friends, and blows her a kiss when she happens to catch his eye, smirking when all her friends fall apart with laughter and she blushes a furious scarlet while mouthing something decidedly unfriendly back at him. He walks on, grinning more broadly than ever and not really caring if he finds the final two Marauders or not he's enjoying his walk so much, when he hears a familiar voice. _

_A sharply familiar voice. _

_He stops dead, head inclined automatically towards the voice with a kind of homing instinct that arises in him before he can crush it. That's his brother's voice he can hear – high pitched and terrified – before it's drowned out by deeper, leering tones of older boys. Something sears inside Sirius's chest, and he walks slowly, predatorily forwards, towards the compartment where the voices are coming from. _

_The door is ajar. He stops dead in the shadows, keeping well back in order to duck out of sight if needs be. Three boys a lot older than his brother – hell, even older than Sirius himself, and Ravenclaws by the looks of their uniform – have their backs to the doorway, but there's no mistaking the aura of taunting intimidation that they exude. Regulas is partially obscured by them – one of them shifts their weight, and Sirius catches a glimpse of his face – taut, white, fighting back tears. _

_(_Reggie_)_

"_No," says Regulas, and though his voice shakes, he stands proud. "I jolly well won't get out. You – you don't own this compartment!"_

_The three boys holler their amusement. "I jolly well won't!" One of them crows, in a high pitched, grotesquely posh imitation of Regulas' voice. "Ooo, I jolly well won't!" His laughter becomes a snarl. "Think you're better than us, posh boy?"_

_There is a long, defiant silence from Regulas. The laughter ceases abruptly. Sirius holds back a groan of despair. _

"_Oy!" The boy says, and he spits the word right into Regulas' face. "I said, do you think you're better than us?"_

_Silence. _

"_Do you think you're above us, rich-kid?" _

_A shove in the shoulder. _

_More silence. _

_Sirius can't take this any more – with one movement he pulls his wand out and kicks the door wide. The boys spin around at once – and they're all taller than Sirius – not to mention one hell of a lot nastier – but Sirius is back in the land of abuse, in the battleground, and he is comfortable. He feels his body preparing, feels himself tensing, and then slackening, his mouth stretching into a wide, lazy smile. _

"_Takes three of you to get a little kid of a compartment, does it?" he asks calmly, twirling his wand in his fingers. "My, what big, brave fifth years you are."_

_They all twitch slightly at that – the slightest ripple of shame crosses their faces – but then they are hardened again, and stepping forward to deal with this new contender. _

"_Who the fuck are you?" One of them growls. Behind them, Regulas seems torn between relief and humiliation – one hand closed protectively on the handle of his suitcase. _

"_Someone a bit closer to your size," Sirius replies. "And could still probably take on all three of you," he adds, a tad unwisely in immediate retrospect._

"_Wrong," says the boy in the middle softly, drawing out his wand and tapping it against his palm. "You're just a kid who started messing in something that isn't any of his business. So if I were you, I'd get out. Now."_

"_Oh, but thank god I'm not you," Sirius's mouth runs away happily before he can do anything about it. "Otherwise I'd be extremely ugly."_

_He waits for the stunned expression to kick in on the other boy's face, waits for the moment that he lunges forward, before stepping back out the compartment and pelting as fast as he can up the train corridor, glancing back only once to check they were following. _

0o0

He had seen her coming from a mile off. She was pretty, well-spoken, and thoroughly believed she wasn't an idiot. In other words, she was perfect.

"Five galleons."

"Five galleons? After what I paid for it? Have a heart, love."

"Five galleons is my final offer."

"Come on. I've got a pet owl to feed. You wouldn't see my poor owl starve, would you?"

The girl – Jessie, he thought he thought her name was – broke into a reluctant smile, and the atmosphere instantly warmed. "I'm not falling for that. Five galleons."

Sirius sighed and stuck his quill in his teeth. "I'd like to give it to you for that, I really would," he said regretfully. "But I've had a lot of other offers, you know. Plenty of other deserving fifth years out there with their brains exploding from overwork. All willing to pay at least six galleons."

Jessie eyeballed him hard. Sirius chewed the quill and quirked a smile at her. "But seeing as it's you," he continued, rubbing his cheek reluctantly, "And seeing as you're so damn gorgeous, I'll let you have it for five galleons, five sickles. Do we have a deal?"

He stuck his hand out. Jessie hesitated, two bright flushes of pink marring her face, then smiled and shook it. Sirius beamed.

"Pleasure doing business with you," he said, accepting the money that she thrust at him before slapping the vial of light purple liquid into her outstretched palm. "And good luck with your exams!" he added encouragingly. "Not that you'll need it with that stuff, mark my words…!"

She smiled over her shoulder at him before striding away, each cocky step expressing a dead-sure conviction that she had driven an amazingly good bargain.

"Yeah, right," said a low voice in his ear, and he spun around to the sight of James leaning against the back of a chair behind him. "And what do you do, exactly, when she finds out that that shit you just gave her isn't worth the bottle you shoved it in?"

Sirius smiled wide. "There's no guarantee of your money back, Prongsie. Besides, I have a poor starving pet owl to think of."

"Poor starving brain, more like." James dodged the punch. "McGonagal wants to see us, by the way. Moony and Wormtail too."

Sirius's smile slid off his face. "Is this about what happened yesterday?"

"No, it's about some muffins that she made and would like to share with us all." James rolled his eyes. "Of course it's about yesterday, you twat."

He wasn't quite so successful at dodging the punch this time. Sirius snorted at James's wince of pain, before casting his eyes over the common room. "I dunno where the other two are."

"Peter's in our room, Remus is in the library. I already checked the map. You can go tell Remus the good news."

Sirius glanced away from James' face, focusing on the ashy fireplace instead. A hand leapt unconsciously to his hair and raked through it. "Malfoy's going to try and pin this on you," he said flippantly. "Because you threw the first spell. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," shrugged James. "'Course he will. It's Malfoy."

Sirius heaved a breath. For a moment he struggled, the words twisting incomprehensibly at the back of his throat. Then he said, with incredible awkwardness, "I'm sorry I didn't fight with you, mate. I should have done. But my broth – Regulas - " He flexed his fingers unconsciously, gestured wordlessly in a futile effort. "I had to - "

"Hey," James interrupted, a faintly bewildered look crossing his face. "Don't worry about it, man. It's nothing. Me and Lily had it - "

"It's not nothing," Sirius cut over him. "I should have stayed with you, I know that, it was fucking betrayal running off and leaving you like that - but I _had_ to, James, he was just standing there with Slytherins all around him, like he was one of them - " He cut himself off abruptly with a laugh. "Oh, wait. I forgot."

James was staring at him in a way that Sirius didn't like at all; it looked too much like pity. He turned his head away sharply. A long, awkward pause stretched out between them.

"I'm going to the library to find Remus," he said eventually, stepping away, unable to look at him. "See you in McGonagal's office."

"Yeah," James said, but Sirius didn't wait around to hear any more – he strode away, feeling the five galleons five sickles hang heavily in his pockets and bump against his thigh and quite suddenly he hated himself with a pure, white hot moment of sickness that rolled through him and seemed to seize his very heart.

0o0

He didn't go to the library. He caught hold of a second year and asked her to pass on the message to a Mr Moony Lupin with the promise of five sickles being in it for her if she passed it on right away. The second year ran off, her face scarlet. Sirius turned and began to walk, without paying much attention to where he going, his feet automatically taking well-trodden short cuts without his brain having to instruct them. He walked, falling into a rhythm that mesmerised and hypnotised him, his mind blocked and crammed with empty, hollow thoughts. The ringing in his ears almost deafened him at times.

_(I know far more about what's coming than you do not your brother no relation of mine don't pretend like you know everything sat on your bed and waited for you Christmas time you didn't come why didn't you come)_

He walked, his hands unconsciously driving deep into his scalp, fingernails burying into the skin and the crescents of aching pain that started to grow with them but it didn't matter, it was good, the pain, he needed it, just this once.

_(Filthy blood traitor no-one loves you i'm a slytherin now siri disgrace to our blood sat on your bed and waited for you why didn't you come)_

The craving was in his blood and was snarling at him to feed it, and he reached automatically for his cigarettes before remembering he'd left them back in his dormitory. He stopped dead, then swung his fist into a wall. It hurt and his knuckles hurt like fuck but that was OK, that was good. The flare of white hot pain shoved all the thoughts back a notch, focused the forefront of his mind on something else for once – but within seconds the thoughts were back, they were all back, rowing for space and leering and saying, _hey, Siri, wow we almost lost you for a second there but we're back! Ready to make you feel like shit again! Ready to remind you of What You Are, which is a Black, a pure Aristocratic Black and you're always going to believe you're better than everyone else – _

"Shut UP!" he screamed, his voice bouncing off the stone walls and screaming back into his face. He stood, his rib cage heaving up and down, in and out. It suddenly occurred to him to check the time – he shouldn't be out here on his own, he should be in McGonagal's office facing the music with James and Remus and Peter. He looked absently at his wrist before remembering he didn't wear a watch. He laughed. The laugh sounded twice as bad as the scream but it made him feel better, so fuck it. Whatever the time was, he needed to be in McGonagal's office and not here. It was time to get his act together and move on.

He stared about him, attempting to get his bearings. He was standing in a long, empty corridor, completely devoid of windows or paintings. A feeling of lonliness and a sudden, strong urge to be with people swept through him, and without a moment's hesitation he turned around and started striding back the way he came.

It was time to go and face the music.

0o0

He skidded around the corner at great speed, and consequently slammed straight into Remus, who had apparently also had plans to go skidding around the same corner at great speed, just in the opposite direction. After the necessary resultant swearing and examining of bruised limbs and calling of each other a vaguely insulting name, the two fell into step with one another.

"I was looking for you," Remus said, continuing to hold his injured arm. Being the slighter of the two, he had the unhappy factor of automatically being damaged a hell of a lot more than Sirius in a head-on collision.

"I gathered," said Sirius, whose shoulder was aching a rather large amount where he had crashed into Remus, but as it merely added to his collection of hurting body parts, he didn't bother giving it the pleasure of being held. "Are we late for good old Minnie?"

"Yeah. Why did you think I was running so fast? She sent me to find you with the threat of expelling us all if you didn't show up within the next ten minutes."

"When was this?"

"Um." Remus checked his watch. "About ten minutes ago."

As though by a silent agreement, the two of them broke decidedly into a sprint.

Within five minutes they arrived, more than a little out of breath, in front of McGonagal's office.

"Ladies first," said Remus graciously, stepping back.

"Funny," said Sirius dryly, as he pushed open the door.

The smallish room was unusually crowded – he blinked and took in the amount of people standing there. James and Peter stood to his left, but to his right was Lily and four other girls. He stared at them, momentarily perplexed. He had almost forgotten that Lily and her friends had also been involved in the fight against the Slytherins. He recognised three of the girls vaguely as members of the crowd Lily usually hung about with, but the other one, the girl with dark, tangled hair to her elbows and smudged black around her lower eyelids, he didn't recognise at all.

She looked over at him. She had wide, silvery eyes that stared openly at him. He felt his stomach do a backflip but he didn't look away.

"So good of you to join us, Mr Black," came the tight, angry voice of McGonagal. He tore his eyes away from the Girl's and looked over at the wrinkled prune that was McGonagal's face.

"No problem," he said flippantly. "Any time."

Her spectacles flashed at him, and he gazed coolly back, very much aware of the Girl continuing to stare appraisingly at him across the room. Tiny volts of electricity stole down his skin. He slouched, thrust his hands in his pockets, and smiled a wide, lazy smile at McGonagal.

She stared back coldly. "That is not the right thing to say to me, Mr Black. I am tired and I am entirely irritated with the lot of you. Apologise to me immediately for your lateness."

Behind her back, James brought up a hand and clenched his hair in frustration. Peter closed his eyes as though simply waiting for the explosion. The Girl continued to stare.

He knew he should. He knew that McGonagal was entirely within her rights to demand an apology. And he knew it was stupid and he knew it wasn't going to get them anywhere, but the words were out before he could stop them. "I'm alright, thanks."

Her eyes widened alarmingly. "Excuse me?"

"I said, I'm alright, thanks."

"_Excuse me?_"

"I said - "

"Sirius," James said loudly. "Just apologise, for fuck's sake."

"MR POTTER!"

"Sorry, Professor." He glared at Sirius. "See how easy it is?"

Sirius shifted uneasily. Having a teacher enforce authority on you was one thing, having your best mate telling you to was another. After a long pause in which he struggled viciously with himself, he muttered, "Sorry I'm late."

James, Peter and Remus all let out simultaneous sighs of relief, and Sirius couldn't help but grin. McGonagal nodded curtly, but Sirius thought he could sense the relief from her as well.

"Very well," she said briskly, "To business." She looked up and stared around the office, looking each of them in the eye one by one as she spoke. "I would like to hear your version of events. I do not want gossip, or rumours, or opinions: I just want the facts, as simple as you can make them."

They all stared at each other. Sirius ran a hand through his hair and stared at the wall. He had just obliged with an apology and thus wasn't in the mood for obliging to much else.

"Well," started Lily awkwardly, going a little red at speaking with her miniature audience. "It started when Potter came up to speak to me in the courtyard about - " She cut herself off, and went redder. "But that's not important. Anyway, while he was talking to me, a group of Slytherins approached and Lucius Malfoy said something to Potter, I can't quite remember - "

"He was taunting me, Professor," added James from his corner. "He made some comment about me losing my last Quidditch match to the Slytherins. I tried to ignore them, but one of them shot a spell at me. Missed, but still at me."

"My brother," spat Sirius, feeling the rage rise, powerful and fucked up, inside him.

McGonagal shot him a swift, piercing look, but said nothing other than, "Please continue."

"So then Sirius came up, and he was pretty angry…" James faltered and gestured to Sirius. "You want to take over, mate?"

Sirius let the silence draw out for a moment, then jerked his head sharply back to McGonagal. "I was pretty angry," he said levelly. "I walked up and asked Malfoy if he was still having trouble being anything other than an insufferable arsehole again – or words to that effect. He got up in my face. He said a bunch of stuff he shouldn't have. I was on the verge of hexing his guts out myself before Lily and James did it for me."

McGonagal laid down her quill. "What things did he say, specifically?"

"The word 'Mudblood' was thrown about," Sirius said, ignoring the intake of breath from one of Lily's friends. "I can't remember anything specific."

She looked hard at him. "Are you sure?"

Sirius shrugged.

McGonagal's nostrils flared.

"While I can understand that Malfoy made you all angry," she said, her voice soft with rage, "I am extremely disappointed that you made the decision to settle it with violence. What, for example, was stopping you from fetching the Professor on duty to deal with Malfoy and his friends?"

Sirius nearly laughed aloud, but managed to hold it back. The others all remained silent, but it was clear they were all thinking the same thing: _Fetch a Professor? Like hell we would've…_

McGonagal sighed, as though she had read their thoughts. "Very well. Continue."

"Not much more to tell, really," said James quietly. "Malfoy shot back at me and Lily, Lily's friends retaliated, then everyone was shooting at one another, except for Sirius."

McGonagal looked at Sirius with raised eyebrows. "You did not partake in this, Mr Black?"

Sirius stuck his hands in his pockets. "No."

"You mean to say, you stood on the sidelines and watched?"

"Pretty much."

"I find this hard to believe."

"Witnesses are all around you."

"It's true," said the Girl suddenly, speaking for the first time. "He was under an archway with Regulas Black."

Sirius glanced over at her in shock. She was leaning against a wall with her arms folded, and her eyes darted up again to meet his.

"Yes, Miss Shelley," said McGonagal crisply, "What was your part in this? I don't believe you are actually acquainted with anyone else in this office."

Shelley raised and dropped her thin shoulders in a quick, bored movement. "I saw the fight and I felt like joining in."

They all stared at her. McGonagal was frowning so deeply her wrinkles had wrinkles.

"You felt like joining in," Sirius repeated before McGonagal had a chance to say anything. "Whose side were you on?"

Those eyes were so wide, so silvery; they bore into him with a hypnotising weight. "My own."

He smiled. "Nice."

"Well, frankly, I am absolutely disgusted with all of you," said McGonagal. "You are all, excepting Miss Shelley, sixth years. Two of you are Prefects. You are all near the top of the school and should be setting an example to those around you, not engaging in petty fights in the playground." She sighed deeply. "Punishment for magic outside of classrooms – particularly magic that results in people getting hurt – must be punished severely. Therefore, I have no choice but to deduct twenty points for every person who engaged in this duel from Gryffindor."

Sirius's brain did the maths in five seconds. His jaw dropped. "Professor, that's one hundred and sixty points! You can't _do _that!"

"Mr Black, although provoked, Miss Evans and Mr Potter were the first to fire. Four Slytherins are in the Hospital Wing - "

"Yeah, milking it for all they're worth," snarled Lily unexpectedly, who seemed just as enraged as Sirius. "Professor, Malfoy was - "

" – Exceptionally offensive to you, I have already been told, Miss Evans, I do not need to be told again!" McGonagal sent her such a look that Lily closed her mouth again. "Rest assured, Lucius Malfoy and his friends will also be dealt with. However, I cannot allow you all to walk out of this office unpunished when you actively caused destructive mayhem in the courtyard yesterday afternoon!"

Silence. Sirius was shaking. Already he was picturing the giant hourglass in the Great Hall, the scarlet cascade of rubies plunging sickeningly into the negative zone. The looks on the other Gryffindor faces when they saw. The craving for a cigarette, ten cigarettes, fucking fifty of them, increased ten fold. He held himself back from saying anything. He'd said enough.

After the silence had strained out for an agonising few moments, McGonagal nodded. "You are all excused," she said. "And if anything of this sort ever happens again, then it will be fifty points each. Do I make myself understood?"

They all nodded mutely. Sirius' teeth had driven so hard into the tip of his tongue he was tasting blood. McGonagal picked up her quill to write something, and proceeded to ignore them as they all trooped out of her office. Sirius, being the last one out, took care to leave the door standing wide open. It slammed shut when they were half way up the corridor.

Shelley let out a hollow laugh, and they all glanced at her. She was walking along amiably beside them as though she'd known them for years.

"No offence," said Sirius abruptly, "But who the hell are you?"

"More to the point," added James, his voice tight with repressed rage, "Why the fuck did you join in yesterday?"

"Tally Shelley, at your service," she replied, inclining her head in a mock bow. "And as for your second question, I never could resist a good fight."

"It wasn't your fight," Lily said, looking entirely perplexed. "It was none of your business, quite frankly."

Shelley shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a nosy cow."

"A nosy cow who cost Gryffindor an extra twenty points we could have done without!" snapped James, his voice mounting. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Maybe I am," she replied coolly.

"Fine," James snarled, apparently finally losing his temper. "Well excuse me, but I don't talk to psychotic girls who screw in other people's fights just for the hell of it." And with that, he stopped, spun on his heel, and went stomping back off the way he came, leaving a deeply awkward silence behind him. Shelley's face barely changed. She simply continued to walk, eyes fixed steadily on the middle distance, a cocky half-smile quirking her lips.

Sirius stared at her, knowing it was obvious, knowing and not caring in the slightest. He took her in with a critical eye: her too-thin frame with the shock of black tangles hanging down her back, her silvery eyes with the smudged blackness on the lower lids that formed the image of someone in the late stages of insomnia. Her walk that barely bordered on a strut, that screamed with exaggerated arrogance and pride. "You don't fool me," he said before he could stop himself, his tone almost casual.

She looked up swiftly at that. He waited for the denial, the demand to explain himself, but he received neither. Much to his surprise, Shelley only smiled broadly, then focused back on her neutral middle distance.

"Nor do you, bad-boy."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Oh, and the plot thickens…

Love and peace xxx


	11. In the Face of Beauty

Tally Shelly vanished from their midst soon after James' exit, which didn't surprise Sirius. He'd been frankly amazed that a younger girl had been able to hold her own under the barrage of angry stares and comments from a group of sixth years for as long as she had – and yet Shelley had made it look as though it were nothing, with her cocky walk and wide, defiant stare. As they all clambered back through the portrait, she simply took her leave without a word, and blended with the throng of chattering students so quickly that Sirius lost her within seconds. He felt a tiny whine of disappointment in his belly, but he dismissed it. There were plenty of other attractive girls for him to flirt about with – there was no need to pursue that particular one.

"Wonder where James went," Remus said, breaking Sirius abruptly out of his bubble of thought. The three of them sat down at a table near the back of the common room, directly by a window that looked out at the sun-lit grounds.

"Quidditch pitch, I'm betting," said Sirius, flinging his feet up onto the table out of habit. "Prongs always winds up there when he's pissed."

Peter had his head in his hands; he allowed his elbows to slip lower and lower across the table surface until his forehead hit the wood with a _thunk. _"Can't blame him," he said in a hollow voice. "One hundred and sixty points."

Sirius cringed. "Not so loud," he muttered, sweeping the room in a brief glance.

"Why not?" snapped Peter, shooting back upright. "They'll all find out soon enough! We may as well get it over with!"

"Who cares?" said Sirius, with a flippantness he didn't feel.

"I do!" Peter said miserably. "It's alright for you and James. Everyone loves James and they're downright terrified of you. You won't get it half so bad as me…"

Sirius would have smacked him round the face out of pure irritation of his whinging voice, had an element of Peter's sentence not struck him. "People are terrified of me?" he said, rolling the words around his mouth and surprising himself with how much he liked the feel of them. "Really?"

"Oh, don't let it inflate your ego more than it already is," snapped Remus, joining the debate with a viciousness that took them all aback. "People are only scared of you because you can be a bullying prick at times, and that's nothing to be proud of."

That got to Sirius. "Bullying prick?" he repeated incredulously. "I'm not afraid to say what I think, that's all! That doesn't make me a bully, it just means that I'm not spineless, unlike - " He glanced automatically at Peter, and cut himself off with a forced effort. Remus, however, had already caught the implication – he stood up so abruptly the table shook.

"Let's go, Wormtail," he said.

Peter turned to look up at him with silent bewilderment, then glanced uneasily at Sirius.

"Yeah, go on, get lost," jeered Sirius angrily. "Seeing as James isn't around for you to follow and I certainly fucking well won't let you latch onto me, I guess Remus is your next best option."

They both stared at him, shock printed clearly across their faces, and it served Sirius a vicious kind of pleasure. "Get fucked, the both of you," he said calmly, and dropped his feet from the table with a heavy thump before striding across the common room towards the portrait.

_Go. _

_Run. _

_Get fucked up._

He strutted down a staircase, running his hands along the banister and whistling jauntily to himself. He winked once at a portrait of a half-naked Raphaelite woman – she blushed and waved coyly back.

_Get fucked up. _

He didn't know where he was going – once again his was letting his feet know the direction without giving the information to his brain – but this time was different, he wasn't hell-bent on self destruction, he wanted, had to, _needed _to destroy. Something. Anything. Someone.

A Slytherin.

It was a seventh year – not a face Sirius recognised, but the uniform did the talking. With a smile he slid his wand out of his pocket – cool, hard wood, felt good in his hand – and fired off a hex directly at the Slytherin's head.

Missed by inches. Maybe he intended to miss. The Slytherin's head jerked around in shock.

"What the hell?" he blurted stupidly, whirling around to face him. Sirius laughed – his fucking awful laugh that shrieked and rattled in his throat.

"Alright, mate?" he said conversationally, advancing with his wand drawn. The Slytherin backed away nervously, tentatively taking his own wand out from his robe.

"What do you want with me?" he asked, and his eyes – Sirius saw it clear as day – were wide with fear. "And who are you, for Merlin's sake?"

Sirius smiled: he was fucked if he knew himself. "Are you a Pureblood?" he asked, in the tones of someone inquiring about the weather.

The boy frowned. "What business is that - "

"ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!" Sirius howled, and the boy jumped, sparks flying out of his wand-tip.

"Yes," he said, his voice shaking very slightly, holding his wand higher. "I am."

"And are you proud of that?" Sirius whispered. "Do you think Mudbloods are scum? Do you believe everything your family tells you, blindly and without question? Do you think you Purebloods should rule the entire fucking world?"

Silence. The boy regarded him with wide, nervous eyes – he opened his mouth, and then closed it again – and that was enough for Sirius. He raised his wand and started to scream the worst hex he could think of that he wasn't even aware what the consequences were of – the boy yelled and shielded his face –

"SIRIUS!"

Something hard smashed into the side of his face. Dimly through the ringing in his ears, he heard wood clatter on the stone floor – his wand palm was greasy with sweat and empty. On reflex he turned with his fist raised – and let it drop almost instantly. James was standing right beside him, looking at him as though he'd never seen him before in his life.

They stared at one another, the silence spiralling out in crazy loops that tightened about Sirius' brain. He couldn't take the look in his best friend's eyes. Without a word he bent down for his wand, turned and walked away.

"Sirius!" James called after him, once. No footsteps followed. His best friend was scared to follow him – (_bullying prick) – _and he didn't deserve to be followed, no, people like him, Pure Aristocratic Blacks like him. He felt sick – look in James' eyes as he stared at him – _saw me, saw What I Am – _

The walls seemed to fly past him. Countless banisters rolled up to him. The rage in his blood had dimmed out, but it wasn't over. It wasn't done with him yet.

He burst out of the front doors into the cooling, summer evening. The grounds were entirely empty as everyone had filtered back into the castle due to curfew drawing near – but the thought of rules pushed the fury back up and he welcomed it, fell into its wrath with open arms. The pulsing rage spoke to him words he needed to hear, words that comforted him with their iron cold logic. Who cared what James saw? Who cared if some Slytherin could have been hurt? Who cared about any of it, any of the entire fucked up affair? _He _was all that mattered – himself, Sirius – and as long as everyone else understood that and kept the fuck out of his way it would all be OK.

He found himself by the Lake, on the edge of the Forest, and a young silver birch tree caught his eye. It blew serenely in the golden summer breeze, and the anger revolted and screamed at him to _kill that fucking tree. _

With one Stunner, he blasted one of its branches. Bits of bark littered the ground, pattering like rain but still it wasn't enough. He hurled another Stunner at the bottom part of the tree but missed – missed just like he'd missed that Slytherin's _tiny stupid brain _– and suddenly he had thrown his wand to the ground and was smashing his fists into the tree again and again and again and ripping off bits of it and kicking it and stamping on it as hard as every fucking muscle in his body would let him and as he did he was screaming, he was screaming every single curse he knew and not caring if anyone heard because there was no other way to convey his indescribable infinite kicking thriving always burning passionate victorious beautiful hate for the world.

Dimly, however, he became aware that there was another voice screaming with his, yelling just as loud but never louder, and this voice – he had to pause to hear it – was shouting stop stop stop and as he paused there was a hand on his arm. He instinctively made to throw it off but it hung on, tighter and with surprising strength for a hand so small. He snapped around with one bleeding fist raised – and the Girl blanched but didn't back off.

It took a few moments for his brain to recognise her. Finally it did. Shelley. Tally Shelley.

Tally Shelley had just seen him beating up a tree.

The dry humour of the situation suddenly struck him, and he found himself laughing. It was a weak, exhausted laugh – but it was genuine, and he was relieved not to hear that awful screaming cackle again. She frowned at him, bewildered. Her hand, he realised, was still on his arm – warm and human on his cold skin – it felt nice but still he shook it off.

"What - " His voice scratched and trembled. He cleared his throat and took a step away from her. He glanced down at his fists and was faintly surprised at how bloody they were. And how little they hurt. "What are you doing here?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I noticed you were tearing the shit out of some poor tree and thought I'd join in."

He pulled a sleeve over one hand and wiped his face raggedly with it, then laughed again. "Yeah – 'cause you never could resist a good fight, right?"

She smiled. "That's right."

They stared at each other, lost for words. Not because he wanted one any more but simply for something to do with his hands, he fumbled in his pockets for his cigarettes and lit up. His bleeding hands shook, and he had to chase the end of it with the flame. This made him snort with laughter once again, though he barely realised why he was laughing. She smiled.

"Here," she said, prising the lighter out of his hand and expertly thumbing the wheel to light it for him herself. He raised his eyebrows at that.

"For that, darling," he said, "You can have one yourself." He offered the pack to her, and she grinned but shoved them away.

"No thanks."

He clasped a hand to his heart. "People come from miles around to try and beg fags off me and you're just casually refusing them?"

Her eyes fastened on the pack with a kind of wariness. "My dad used to smoke," she said quietly.

Silence struck. Sirius winced and blew smoke over his shoulder, understanding automatically this was not a subject to question. "Muggle born?" he asked off-handedly instead, needing a change of subject.

"Half and half." Her eyes were still on the pack in his hand. "Actually," she said suddenly, "I think I _will _have one. My mum always says she'd kill me if I started smoking, but - "

"All the more reason to try it," he completed. He held the pack forward. "Go for it, and fuck 'em."

She slid out one, held it momentarily between two fingers in a thoughtful fashion, then curled her hand over it. "I'm not smoking it in front of you."

He raised an eyebrow. "And…why not?"

"Because I'd probably throw up and then you'd take the piss."

He would have laughed and acknowledged the truth of this had his hands not been bloody and still trembling badly. The rage had now completely faded from his mind, and he was only left with a sick shame gnawing at his stomach.

"Sorry for nearly hitting you," he muttered, keeping a careful eye on the grass. Wow, two apologies in one day: it had to be a record.

"That's alright," she replied casually, toying with the cigarette in her hand. "It's just as well you didn't, I would have smacked you one right back."

He sniffed a laugh. The destroyed tree caught his eye, and he inwardly cringed. "So aren't you going to ask why?"

There was a long silence. She became still, her eyes locked with his in a loaded, measuring stare. Eventually, she said, "Do you like me?"

Sirius widened his eyes in surprise. "Er - "

"I don't care if you don't."

The determined flippancy in her voice persuaded him to answer truthfully. "Yeah, I guess," he said casually, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other. "I don't feel ready to propose just yet though if you know what I mean - "

"But you'd like to be friends?"

Her tone was light, but her eyes were intense. Sirius regarded her critically, letting the silence hang in the air.

"Sure."

"Then I need to tell you this." Her eyes were still held with his, locked and loaded. "If you don't ever ask me why, then I won't ever ask you why."

He laughed a short, humourless laugh. "Sounds like the best damn friendship I ever heard of."

"A lot of people can't handle that."

"A lot of people don't do crazy things."

"Are you crazy, Black?"

He grinned. "Crazy as a dog, sweetheart."

Her eyes glimmered right back at him.

"Good."

0o0

Evening all! This is Mooncheese and OH my god this is an update. Review if you wish me to continue! I know this poor story was never that popular but hey...I like it :D


End file.
